Pick Me for Kate Gosselin’s Talk Show!

Reality TV could take this show a step further and seek out real moms — moms, who really do cook and clean, nurture.

Last Updated: June 23, 2010 @ 3:17 PM

PLEASE, PLEASE, PICK ME!

I want in on that rumored mommy-centric show with Paula Deen and Kate Gosselin. And you'd better make it quickly too, because it looks like this train wreck is on the fast track!

Yes, you read this correctly. I need to be part of that show! And, no, my qualifications don’t matter one iota since we are all well aware that the proposed octomommy’s professional hosting skills are merely the ability to pop out kids. (Granted, I’m a little behind on this count, by six kids in fact, but I don’t think I should be discriminated against for this position due to the lack of offspring)

Banter aside, reality TV could take this show a step further and seek out real moms — moms, who really do cook, clean, nurture, educate, volunteer, coach, mentor and protect their kids for a living. The networks could finally do right by us parents who have been trying to redirect the whacked reality our families watch on television.

For once, I agree with the TV bigwigs about the need for a show with mommies at the hosting helm since it’s mainly a mother’s responsibility to put forth productive kids into society. It would be a boon for television to address topics like why our country’s primary morality shapers are being derailed by shows depicting low moral character and the absence of values — and who better than Mrs. Gosselin to do this, right?

The Hollymommy trend in the media today focuses too much attention on the exterior appearance or odd behavior some fame-hungry mothers and fathers engage in, while not enough is out there about the successes others are having while juggling home, child rearing, education, technology, pets, and, for some, work — be it on the back lot or the backyard.

Go ahead and throw in the occasional celeb mommy like Reese Witherspoon or Jennifer Lopez just for fun — their lives do interest some of us sponge-pushers because we like to dream about having the glam-me-up team show up in our homes to make us look better than we sometimes feel.

The show could also fill the set sofas with mothers raising kids in different age groups: newborns, toddlers, and school aged kids from kinder to high school. Then, bring in experts to discuss different issues affecting these age groups.

The topics are endless, and real.

As a blog-o-mom, I welcome the idea of using mom bloggers on a talk show. Given the skill set of the projected maternal co-host, why not consider a so-called expert someone who has written about her hands-on-diapers experience, the parenting equivalent of academic research, under their girdle. These anecdotist moms know a thing or two about bringing up kids and cooking!

Obviously, the cooking portion of talk shows is not a new concept here — it’s the Deen-Gosselin odd couple that’ll be hooking viewers.

Paula Deen can clearly show us how to cook family and age-appropriate meals, but maybe she’ll go old school on us and demonstrate simple food preparation the whole family can enjoy instead of catering to individual palates. Remember when we had to eat what mom made, no special orders accepted? Ah, liver and onions … still repulsive!

As for Kate Gosselin, well, I’m still not sure what she’ll bring to the program except her kids and curious viewers — and judging by the boiling emotions the reality-show mom evokes from non-supporters, this blend could be a disastrous TV recipe.

What about my contribution to this mommathon, you ask? I would be the one to keep the "real" in reality since I am a mother, and have been going at it for 18 years. And not just a mother, but a stay-at-home mom — this alone should make things interesting since it’s something Kate could use a little guidance on as well.

So, TV networks, you know where to get a hold of me. Just give me a little heads-up so I can get the curlers out of my hair because Gosselin’s hair stylist isn’t touching it!