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Politico’s Chief Political Columnist Returns After Having Leg, Foot Amputated

Roger Simon explains in a Q+A with himself

Roger Simon, Politico’s chief political columnist who has been absent since last October, is back.

What has he been up to? In his first column back, he explains:

Q: Where have you been? It’s been months.

A: I decided that while anyone can write about health care from the outside, it takes a real journalist to explore it from the inside.

Q: So?

A: So I had my legs cut off.

Q: That’s not funny!

A: You’re telling me. You want to know what’s funny about losing your legs?

Q: What?

A: They’re always in the last place you look.

Q: I can’t tell if you are making this up. How did you lose your legs?

A: Would you believe a sky-diving accident?

Q: No.

A: How about a snowboarding pileup?

Q: No.

A: How about I got an infection and it led to blood poisoning?

The doctors had to cut off my right leg below the knee and almost all of my left foot. After a long stint in intensive care, then seven weeks at the National Rehabilitation Hospital in Washington, I am now in a wheelchair. But I can’t wait to get back on my own two — artificial — feet again.

Read the entire, darkly hilarious Q+A here.