The Real Housewives of Atlanta have finally left Africa — and the resort was so thrilled upon their departure that the ladies were serenaded by the staff who formed a "Soul Train" line to joyfully sing, “Ooooo, you’re going home, yay, you’re going home, so long you high-maintenance bitch.”
Or something like that.
Souvenirs were not the only baggage the women brought home with them. They managed to fit some baby-holding drama in with their individually packed Louboutins and carefully wrapped Oliver Peoples.
Kim wouldn’t hold a black baby, go to an orphanage or involve herself in any South African activities, Cynthia remarked during one of their safaris. Kandi made the mistake of agreeing, and Sheree sat in the back of the jeep deciding the best way to distort and relay this exchange to Kim.
None too thrilled with Sheree’s embellished revelation, Kim felt betrayed by Kandi. Kandi, in turn, denied ever saying that and was frustrated that Sheree went out of her way to cause a rift between her and Kim. A luncheon was planned by Kim, and the issue of the black babies would be on the table alongside the cucumber sandwiches.
Kim is not racist, "I'll hold a black baby, a purple baby, a white baby, a pink — it doesn't matter. I love babies, bitch!" Yes Kim, you love all babies and you’ll hold them until they leave you a gift in their diapers and it is changing time. That’s when they have to go — into the arms of the housekeeper.
A nanny would be preferable and Kim was on the hunt for one because every non-working woman needs two housekeepers, a nanny and an assistant. And in the ever-increasing case for firing her assistant, Sweetie was in trouble again for sunbathing when she should have been helping Kim hire a baby holder. Kim decided to give one of the housekeepers that additional duty, stopped googling "nanny" and posted an "assistant" job opening on cCraigslist.
Meanwhile, Peter wants to celebrate one year of marriage with Cynthia because for them that’s a lifetime. On a budget — because that’s what they do. And hire their former wedding party planner–because he accepts layaway plans.
No definitive arrangements were made because Peter has to borrow some money from Cynthia first, but NeNe is in on the planning phase.
NeNe, on the other hand, had no plans to bail her son Bryson out of jail for stealing razors from Walmart. Practicing tough love, NeNe was going to leave him in the clinker because she wants this second run-in with the law to be his last. Peter pleaded with her to soften up and give him another chance, but as we moved on to Kim’s luncheon, NeNe remained unconvinced.
On the way to Kim’s house for lunch and “black baby shenanigans," Phaedra and Kandi decided to stop by Chateau Sheree to check on its progress. There they stood, in the middle of a dirt plot, surrounded by flies, not an air mattress in sight, and wondered if they were back in the bush of South Africa.
No, they were in Buckhead, Atlanta. Finally arriving for Kim’s luncheon, it was time for Kandi to explain herself. Kandi adamantly denied inadvertently calling Kim a racist by inferring she wouldn’t hold a black baby. Kim insisted she had a caring nature and would have loved to go to the orphanage and Africa, but she was busy holding her own newborn baby. Sheree chimed in whenever she could to fuel the fire, her hyperbole fanning the flames.
Ultimately, nothing was resolved. A bewildered goose stood in the background. And the ladies that lunch lost their appetite and possibly some friendships.