The sparks napped rather than flew during “Real Time With Bill Maher” Friday night, except for host Maher’s exasperation with mid-show guest Anthony Scaramucci’s wonk-off with panelist David Frum over The Mooch’s scotched deal to sell his company to a Chinese firm.
But the show got feisty in the last 10 minutes with “New Rules,” when Maher laid into Trump supporters who bought into the president’s promises to build a wall along the Mexican border, and offered them some small solace since it hasn’t happened and doesn’t appear to be possible.
“Just admit you got conned when you actually thought that Blob the Builder was gonna to erect the eighth wonder of the world for free and Mexico was going to pick up the check,” Maher said. “We’ve all been there, you bought weed in the park and when you got home it was pine needles and oregano.”
“A wall represents an impregnable barrier that keeps out not just Mexicans, but everything that makes them feel antsy about the old America that’s slipping away,” Maher continued.
Maher compared the Wall to “one of those prescriptions for drugs that block the causes of your discomfort.”
“Yes, now there’s Mexigone. Mexigone has been clinically proven to reduce the pain caused by foreigners entering the country illegally. Mexigone works with your natural gullibility to construct a wall that keeps immigrants from ‘shithole countries’ out, and good paying jobs in. So you can get back to cleaning your guns and sending out Facebook memes of Hillary getting hit with a golf ball.”
The wall, Maher continued, “was always just an applause line that got out of hand. Even Trump knows that it’s bulls—.”
But that’s OK, said Maher, “because everything that wall represents — the bigotry, the racism, the ignorance, the paranoia — is already in your heart. The wall has been inside you the whole time.”
“Every time you vote you vote for a child molester because the other choice is a Democrat, the wall is there. Every time you feel rage because a voice recording says ‘For Spanish press 2’, the wall is there. It’s there whenever you begin a Facebook post with ‘I’m not a racist, but.’ It’s there every time a unisex bathroom makes you hold it ’til you get home. It’s there when snow makes you deny global warming. And it’s there at the ball game when two gays on the kiss cam make you throw up in your mouth. Every time you use air quotes when you say the word ‘college,’ the wall is there. It’s there when you use ‘Jew’ as a verb. And it’s there every time you’re Tucker Carlson,” Maher continued.
“See, even without it… you’re still the grumpy a–hole that ruins Thanksgiving.”