A Remake of ‘The Blob’ — Say It Ain’t So

Say it isn’t so, Rob Zombie! You’re not really going to remake that creaky classic, “The Blob,” that catapulted McQueen’s star legacy. Are you? Before “The Great Escape,” and “The Thomas Crown Affair,” McQueen dipped his talent into whatever came along, just as most of us do in real life. Call it cheesy, campy and […]

Last Updated: August 30, 2009 @ 1:25 PM

Say it isn’t so, Rob Zombie! You’re not really going to remake that creaky classic, “The Blob,” that catapulted McQueen’s star legacy. Are you?

Before “The Great Escape,” and “The Thomas Crown Affair,” McQueen dipped his talent into whatever came along, just as most of us do in real life.

Call it cheesy, campy and old-fashioned, but who cares? It’s Steve McQueen, one of Hollywood’s hunks, in the golden age of celluloid.

 

“The Blob” is no classic, compared to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,” but would young producers dare ruin, I mean update, “East of Eden” or “The Grapes of Wrath”?

I realize the youth demographic flock to horror and end-of-world scenarios, but leave “cult” movies where they belong — in the memories of those who cherish these films.

 

We know they’re crappy, but they’re funny. Ever see “Them”? about giant ants?

 

Ludicrous, forgettable and hilarious, this ridiculous movie is a great family film that offers cheap thrills and high drama. Granted, the plot points may be sketchy, but who cares? Show me the ants!

Few remakes do any service to fond memories. If you know of any decent ones, please educate me.

It’s just like the Beatles: From “Yellow Submarine” to the desecration of their songs in a new video game, my inner-teenager rails against sharing my memories with a generation who’d rather play air guitar instead of playing outside.

What happened to the “dreamers of the dream,” as Willie Wonka said? The good one, with Gene Wilder, not the remake, which was dreadful.

 

Where are the creative writers to bring a fresh, story that doesn’t include exploding Mt. Rushmore or the White House? Do I have to submit my 10-year-old screenplay to shake things up?

 

It can’t be any worse than the dreck that costs half a mortgage payment to watch.

 

Not to mention the 20 minutes of annoying commercials that once were regulated to television.

But please, oh please, Rob Zombie, don’t wreck Steve McQueen’s freshman years.

 

Weren’t yours just as precious?

Do a Zombie flick. I hear they’re all the rage. And think of the marketing! “Zombie Does Zombies!”

Just leave “The Blob” alone.

Naomi Serviss has covered Broadway, celebrities, lavish resorts and high-end spas. Based in New York City, she's still hooked on Hollywood.