Seth Meyers’ Best Emmy Monologue Jokes (Video)

TheWrap recounts the awards show host’s best lines of the opening speech

Seth Meyers certainly knew what everyone was saying about this year’s Emmys.

The awards host called out all the elephants in the room from the overwhelming presence of cable and streaming nominations compared to network noms, the funny category submissions and, of course, the show’s airing on a Monday.

Sometimes, you just have to laugh and that’s what we depend on our awards show hosts for. Meyers certainly filled the role.

See photos: Emmys Red Carpet Arrivals

Here are the Emmy host’s best jokes of the show:

“MTV still has an awards show for music videos even though they no longer show music videos. That’s like network TV holding an awards show and giving all the trophies to cable and Netflix.”

“In 1976, this is true, all four nominees were cop shows, including ‘Police Story,’ ‘Baretta, and ‘Columbo.’ Basically, you voted for the policeman whose hat you liked the best. Of course, no one remembers the 1976 Emmys because they were held on a Monday.”

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“We had so many great shows this year. We had comedies that made you laugh and comedies that made you cry, because they were dramas submitted as comedies.”

“The Emmys are my favorite awards show. Sure, the Golden Globes has alcohol, but everybody’s always talking and moving around. Here, everyone sits silent in one palce and just waits for the pills to kick in. Tonight, we are all ‘Crazy Eyes.’”

Also read: 16 Best and Worst Moments of Emmys 2014 (Photos)

“Shows like ‘Game of Thrones,’ ‘The Good Wife’ and ‘Fargo’ have the right idea. When your show get some attention and critical acclaim, kill off all the main characters. Otherwise before you know it, you’re paying Sheldon a million dollars an episode.”

Also read: Emmys Winners 2014: The Complete List

“HBO is like the kid you brought up that ended up doing way better than you expected. When I first met HBO, all he had was ‘Grease 2’ and ‘Fraggle Rock.’”

“Cable is looking at Netflix the way Justin Bieber looks at One Direction: Through a cloud of marijuana smoke.”

“There are so many different ways to consume TV. People don’t necessarily watch shows when they air anymore. The Most DVR’d show of the past season is ‘Blacklist,”Game of Thrones’ was the most pirated show and ‘Duck Dynasty’ was the most VCR-taped.”

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“Before we get too far along in the night, I just want to remind everyone even if you don’t win this evening, your agent still wants you to know that ‘you’re crushing it right now, just killing it, so great.’”