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Six Couples Who Want to Make Ya Dance!

The biggest question about “So You Think You Can Dance” is not how they can do all those lifts and leaps but how they can stretch a show with only six couples into two full hours. That works out to twenty minutes per couple! I could’ve watched two full repeat episodes of “Real Housewives of […]

The biggest question about “So You Think You Can Dance” is not how they can do all those lifts and leaps but how they can stretch a show with only six couples into two full hours. That works out to twenty minutes per couple! I could’ve watched two full repeat episodes of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” in that amount of time!

 

They made it all make sense, though. Each couple performed two routines (with two sets of costumes!) and Cat also explained that partners would be reassigned next week (boo!).

 

MELISSA & ADE tried their hand (or feet, rather) at a disco routine for their first number. Disco with a touch of ballet, that is. Much like everything they do, there were a lot of lifts. It was almost as entertaining as Disco Night on “Dance Your Ass Off” this past Monday….ALMOST. For a ballerina, Melissa is really good at shaking her ass. Makes you wonder what kind of crazy “Swan Lake” after-parties she attended.

 

Their second dance was a waltz to “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman.” Surprise! There were a lot of lifts.

Overall Performance: 7.5 Overall Costumes: 5

 

KAYLA & KUPONO did a dramatic dance about addiction. Kupono played the part of “drugs,” while Kayla was the junkie, complete with dirty-looking hair and no makeup. (As a footnote, it seems that “drugs” likes to wear lots of guyliner and eyeshadow.) It was very theatrical and moving, causing judge/choreographer Tyce to note that the best dancers are the best actors.

 

And now for something completely different….their second routine was a Broadway number about love at first sight. The music was from the scene in “West Side Story” where Tony and Maria fall in love….at first sight. While the judges didn’t think they nailed the style, I think that Kayla’s excessive crinolines more than made up for any performance issues.

 

Overall Performance: 8.5 Overall Costumes: 7.5

 

CAITLIN & JASON were assigned an American fox trot and Caitlin said that she was excited to maybe get a sparkly costume. I was too…until I saw what she ended up wearing. It was kind of like an Irish flapper. Nigel said that she was so elegant that she should’ve had a glass of champagne in her hand but I was thinking more like a glass of Guinness.

 

They were in their comfort zone for their second dance, a lyrical jazz routine. The song was good and they executed it well, but it was nothing to write home about.

 

Overall Performance: 6.5 Costumes: 7 (Mainly because Jason opted not to wear a shirt)

 

JEANINE & PHILLIP were assigned Russian folk dancing. Random! Nigel worried aloud that the genre may have been too obscure; however, it was performed well. Besides, nothing says fun like some Tetris music and authentic Russian costumes! All that were missing were some nesting dolls and a bottle of vodka. It was just like a trip to EPCOT!

 

These two always seem to get the good costumes. Their second dance was no exception. For their jive about a tease and a sailor home on leave, Jeanine looked like an understudy for Cha Cha in “Grease.” This was a good thing, as her costume featured lots of crinolines! Jason’s costume had hints of “sailor” but I would’ve liked a full-out sailor uniform.

 

Overall Performance: 8.5 Overall Costumes: 10.5 (on a 10 point scale!)

 

RANDI & EVAN did a hip-hop dance about a couple who learn that they’re pregnant. They are both adorable but I didn’t care that much for this dance. First of all, are we supposed to believe that the guy in the argyle sweater could really knock somebody up? If you’re gonna wear street clothes to dance, at least bedazzle them.

 

For their sexy samba, the couple sported leopard print outfits with what looked like streamers. The costumes and drums were very “Disney Adventureland” and it seemed awkward, as neither of them seem to be the “savage samba beast” type.

 

Overall Performance: 6.5 Overall Costumes: 6

 

BRANDON & JANETTE garnered a standing ovation from all three judges with their Argentine tango. There were a lot of legs kicking and flailing about but it looked intentional. I didn’t care for the lace on Janette’s short red costume, but the sparkles worked for her.

 

In their second routine, the “story” was that they were thieves but it seemed more like two people overdose of caffeine. Though the outfits were not that original, you can never go wrong wearing black and white with red accents.

 

Overall Performance: 8 Overall Costumes: 7.5 (bonus for wearing sunglasses)

 

This show gets more entertaining the longer I watch it, especially when they pull out the random genres like Russian folk dancing. I’m wondering how long it will be before someone is assigned lap or pole dancing.

 

Don’t laugh; next week on “Dance Your Ass Off,” ALL the contestants will be pole dancing.

 

"TOP CHEF MASTERS"
The theme on this week’s episode was magic, because apparently it has a lot in common with cooking. It must have a lot in common with eating, too, because I am excellent at making my food disappear with a snap of my fingers (or a lift of my fork).

 

For the Quickfire Challenge, the chefs were told to cook an egg dish with one hand behind their back. Chef Mark Peel of Los Angeles seemed to have an advantage, as he mentioned that his father was born with only one arm.

 

“Seemed” was the operative word, as he forgot to add the olive oil to the olive oil cream sauce that accompanied his duck egg pasta.

 

That wasn’t the worst mistake during the challenge, either. Chef John Besh of New Orleans served the judges a slow-cooked egg that was SO slow that it was only half cooked. One judge commented that it tasted like “burnt grease.”

 

Chef Douglas Rodriguez, a pioneer of “tortilla-free latino cooking,” dazzled the judges with an open-faced corn cake with scrambled eggs and ham.

 

But it was Chef Anita Lo of New York who won earned a perfect score for her soft scrambled egg with shitake mushrooms, truffle oil and oyster sauce. It didn’t hurt that the presentation, served in a hollowed-out shell, was aesthetically pleasing either.

 

For the big challenge, magician Max Maven had each of the cooks choose a card in a slight-of-hand trick. The cards had words that pertained to magic: mystery, surprise, illusion and spectacle. Each chef had to each prepare a meal based on the word that he or she chose.

 

Their meals would then be served to Neil Patrick Harris and others at the Magic Castle, a private club where performers apparently sometimes pull full-grown rabbits out of their mullets. (At least that’s what they showed us in this episode.)

John Besh noted that he thinks food can be every bit as entertaining as magic. I have to agree, especially when Chuck E. Cheese is involved.

 

For “spectacle,” Douglas Rodriguez whipped up duck four ways and attempted to light his coconut soup bowl on fire. But it just wouldn’t work. Not much of a spectacle.

 

Anita Lo was assigned “illusion” and she served up braised daikon with kombu caviar and steak tartare that was made to look like a scallop with caviar on top. She hit the nail on the head, as “illlusion” was definitely acheived.

 

Mark Peel hid his “mystery” meal of tai snapper inside a parchment with garlic mashed potatoes and leeks scallion oil as condiment and sake.

 

John Besh tried to surprise the dinner guests with different textures and flavors but he ended up surprising them with the headache-inducing cold of his cauliflower blini. In true showman style, he came to the table with liquid nitrogen and recruited Neil Patrick Harris to help him whip up a creme fraiche and horseradish sorbet for his salmon dish.

 

Anita won the challenge with her genius interpretation of “illusion,” earning $10,000 for SHARE, an organization that offers support to those affected by breast and ovarian cancer.

 

The promo for next week featured Jeff Lewis from “Flipping Out” (premiering August 17) as a guest. His presence is reason enough to watch, as his food specifications are the stuff that chefs’ nightmares are made of.

 

"THE REAL WORLD CANCUN"
This is already shaping up to be one of the most scandalous seasons yet!

 

First of all, Ayiiia and Emilee got “intimate” with one another. Yeah, you read that correctly.

 

Ayiiia went farther with Emilee than she ever has with a girl, even though she has a boyfriend back home. (Maybe it’s a Hooters thing.) I’m not sure he matters to her that much, though, because she has had issues with men ever since her ex-boyfriend dumped her a week before her abortion.

 

Ayiiia continued being a you-know-what to everyone around her, except for her minions, Emilee and Jasmine. Her bitchiness seemed to rub off on Emilee, too, who blew up on the boys for waking her up with their “obnoxious drunkenness.” (By the way, she was bitching about this to Jasmine AS she was participating in semi-obnoxious drunkenness herself.)

 

Emilee and Jasmine, with the help of the other roommates, saw that it was Ayiiia who was the problem and started to distance themselves from her. Then Ayiiia and Jasmine got into a tiff when Ayiiia TOLD her she had an attitude when she did NOT have an attitude. This led to Jasmine HAVING an attitude.

 

Ayiiia seems to have three eyes….and not just in her name. I mean that she has an extra eye in the back of her head because she always seems to be lurking, listening and tiptoeing when Jasmine and Emilee are gossiping about her.

 

It all came to a head when Ayiiia demanded to know what Emilee’s problem was. After much prodding, Emilee told her that she’s rude and nobody likes her.

Her response? “At least I wasn’t f***ing adopted, bitch.” (That probably counts as rude.)

 

We’re only three episodes in and it’s already on par with the Lyme disease season!

 

Tune in tonight for the premiere of “LA Ink” on TLC!