“SNL” tackled the recent firings at the White House in its cold open with a parody of “Anderson Cooper 360” that included a murderer’s row of characters from the Trump administration.
As Alex Moffat’s Anderson Cooper kicked off the segment talking about Donald Trump’s administration firing FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe on Friday, just a day before he could collect his pension. The first person he interviewed was Kate McKinnon’s Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who was the one to fire McCabe.
“Look at me, I still got a job!” Sessions shouted as Cooper introduced him.
“Can you give us the exact reason McCabe was fired?” Moffat’s Cooper asked.
“Yes, of course, Mr. McCabe was in clear violation, um, because of his lack of candor — I can’t even dance around, Trump made me do it,” Sessions replied. “He saw too much.”
Sessions couldn’t believe that he’d been made to fire McCabe.
“I’m just a simple man who just wanted to make things bad for immigrants and here I am taking away the pension of a Christian White!” he said.
“I can’t believe I’m still here,” Sessions went on. “But y’all need me right now — he’s gonna launch Robert Mueller right into space!”
Continuing on the subject of recent White House firings, Cooper brought out a surprise guest: John Goodman, reprising his role from earlier this season as (now former) Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.
“Now the way this went down must have been pretty embarrassing for you, but you’ve been pretty gracious about your exit,” Moffat’s Cooper began. “It was widely reported that you were fired by a tweet from the president.”
“Well that’s not true,” Goodman’s Tillerson said. “John Kelly called me and asked where I was. I said, ‘Sir, that’s private.’ He said ‘Oh good, are you on the toilet? Because I got some news.'”
It was clear that Tillerson was still despondent over his embarrassing firing this week.
“One day you’re the CEO of Exon, the next day you get fired by a man who used to sell steaks in the mail,” Tillerson lamented, squeezing his water glass in anger so hard that it shattered.
Cooper also brought out two more guests: host Bill Hader as former White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci, and Fred Armisen reprising his role as “Fire and Fury” author Michael Wolff.
“Like the threads?” Scaramucci asked Cooper. “First suit made by the Olive Garden!”
Cooper asked Scaramucci and Wolff for inside information about further changes at the White House, and Wolff mentioned he was working on another boo.
“People don’t know this but Trump would line up his staff and use a laser pointer and circle their love handles every day,” Wolff said. When Cooper asked if that was actually true, Wolff shrugged and responded, “Eh.”
As Cooper was talking to his other guests, Tillerson finally lost it.
“Trump is a moron!” He shouted, laughing. “Sorry, I just blurted that one out. Feels good to say what I want. Call Jurassic Park because the Rexy is loose!”