‘SNL’: John Mulaney’s Erection Delays National School Walkout (Video)

Puberty makes it tough for one teenager to join a protest against gun violence

Students all over the country participated in a national school walkout to protest gun violence last month, but on “SNL,” one teenager found he was required to stand up in protest at an inopportune time.

In a sketch that took place in a classroom with various cast members playing students, host John Mulaney was one teenager eager to participate in the protest — until fellow student Melissa Villasenor touched his shoulder, and puberty did the rest.

Suddenly, Mulaney, playing a student named Gerald, wasn’t ready to leave his seat when the walkout time rolled around.

“No, wait, maybe we shouldn’t stand up right now!” Mulaney said.

“You don’t want to stand up against gun violence?” Asked Heidi Gardner, playing another student in the class.

“Not at this specific moment — when I’m wearing mesh shorts,” Mulaney replied.

“Gerald, what’s wrong?” Villasenor asked. “We had a plan. Let’s do just like you said, let’s stand tall and walk out, leading with our pelvis.”

“I hate that I was so specific,” Mulaney said.

The pressure continued to mount to get the walkout going, with Mulaney trying to find excuses so he could wait for his problem to go away and keep the other students from seeing the front of his pants. Luckily, the political climate was on his side.

“I think it’s pretty clear what’s going on with Gerald,” said Aidy Bryant, playing another student.

“Oh no, what do you have, like a side view or something?” Mulaney asked her.

“Gerald thinks that the media has been giving all the coverage to white schools, ignoring the people of color who face violence at higher incidences,” Bryant continued.

“Ooh, yes, I like this,” Mulaney said.

“Great, then Gerald, you lead this dialogue on race,” Bryant declared. “Stand up without holding any books or jackets in front of you, and march straight down to Thurgood Marshall Public High, and you say, fellas, I know this thing is hard, and upsetting, and it’s pretty darn crooked, but if we roll our sleeves, we can beat it together.”

“I’m gonna pass,” Mulaney told her.

Political debates raged on as Mulaney’s Gerald continued to try to deal with his puberty issue. Finally, a solution presented itself: Principle Leslie Jones giving a lengthy, fetish-laden speech about what she might do to Mulaney for holding up the walkout.

“And it took care of itself the other way,” Mulaney said. “Let’s walk out, everybody!”