“SNL” took aim at Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore during its cold open this week, and even Kate McKinnon’s Jeff Sessions thinks the embattled candidate is creepy.
The sketch saw Moore, played by Mikey Day, called to the White House to meet with Beck Bennett’s Mike Pence. It fell to Pence to convince Moore to drop out of the Alabama Senate race because of the scandal about Moore dating underage girls.
“Roy, I don’t have to tell you that the Senate hangs in the balance,” Bennett’s Pence said. “We are trying to pass a tax reform plan this year to bring Mr. Trump’s list of big legislative accomplishments to one. We can’t lose your seat this December.”
“I know you are Bannon’s guy, but this latest news about you is concerning,” Pence continued. “Voters in Alabama will never elect someone who has had relations with a minor.”
“Are you sure about that?” Day’s Moore asked.
“Alabama is quite a place, but we can’t take that chance,” Pence answered.
Just like he has been this week, Moore insisted that the allegations against him were lies, and that he’s being targeted by the “liberal media.”
“It’s hard to convince people that you are not into young girls when you dress like Woody from ‘Toy Story,'” Pence told Moore, referencing the candidate’s cowboy-like clothes.
“All right,” Day’s Moore said. “Everyone thinks I did it, I’ll marry her.”
“No, Roy, no. I want you to consider stepping aside,” Pence told him. “Don’t think of it as ending your campaign. Think of it as going to conversion therapy to turn yourself into someone who is no longer a candidate.”
With Pence failing to convince Moore to drop out of the race, the door on the small cabinet in the room popped open, revealing Attorney General Jeff Sessions, played by Kate McKinnon.
“Jeff Sessions, what are you doing here?” Moore asked.
“I’m just doing what I always do: Cookin’ up nightmares for children,” Sessions said, taking over the discussion for Pence.
“Roy, you have been doing some controversial stuff,” McKinnon’s Sessions continued. “You wave a gun around on stage. You tell folks Muslims shouldn’t be allowed in the Congress and that 9/11 was God’s punishment for sodomy. I love it. You check a lot of boxes for me.
“But this is really bad. I’m usually the creepiest one in the room, but i look at you and I’m like oh, my god. I got the goose flesh. They say you even admitted to being with a couple of 16-year-olds,” Sessions said.
Sessions finally kicked Moore out of the room, saying, “I am Alabama, Mr. Moore, but you are too much Alabama.”