‘SNL’: Prisoners Trade Horrible Stories While Working Customer Service (Video)

Donald Glover, Kenan Thompson and Chris Redd are super-nice customer service reps who also live violent lives in the U.S. prison system

SNL” suggests there might be a reason nobody likes calling customer service lines: The people working them are convicted criminals, who are paid only 33 cents per hour.

That was the case in one sketch Saturday, which found Kenan Thompson, Chris Redd and host Donald Glover playing convicts who were also worked as customer service representatives at a call center. While cliches abound that most customer service reps are bad, these three turned on the charm every time they picked up a phone — even as they discussed horrible things in their prison lives, like fights, murders and suicides.

You can watch the video above.

Redd, Thompson and Glover traded stories about how tough a time they were having in prison, most of them violent.

“This place is changing me,” Redd complained, describing a fight. “Bitch tried to grab me by my collar — oh, hold on just a second,” he said, as he was interrupted by a phone call. Redd flipped to his customer service voice, answering the phone, “Good morning, customer service, my name is Phillip.”

Finishing the call, Redd went back to his story. “And then I grabbed a razor I was hiding in my butt cheeks and cut his ear off, fam!”

As they talked about another prisoner, Freddie, Glover joined the conversation.

“Yeah, I know Freddie. He tried to jump me in a bathroom. There were, like, five of them. But you know me, I’m crazy, so I pulled down my pants — hold on,” he said, then answered the phone with a cheery, “It is a gorgeous Wednesday morning! This is Norman, how can I be at your service today?”

Going back to his story, Glover picked up right where he’d left off. “Crapped in my hands, and then I tried to touch them with it.”

The sketch ended when guards rolled in Beck Bennett, tied to a hand cart like Hannibal Lecter, to join the team. When one of the callers talking to Glover asked to speak with a manager, it turned out to be Bennett’s character.

“Now if I could just get some personal information: What are your fears?” Bennett asked the caller.