Good bye Jay Leno, it was nice while it lasted.
Though our relationship was merely convenient, it also satisfied a mutual need for laughter and lighthearted entertainment before we called it a night. It had been a while since we’d shared a late-night laugh together because I was too exhausted to wait up 'till 11:35 p.m. for you to come on "The Tonight Show."
For a worn-out parent like me, prime time was great; my eyelids stayed open long enough to watch your mindless antics, and my not-so-acute-hearing could still catch a poignant joke while trying to forget the frustrations of raising two teens at once.
What did I do before you came along to cover the I-am-only-hanging-on-‘till-Leno 10 p.m. time slot?
I’d settle for my available choices: the local news, a criminal themed show or the occasional historical program only to numb my brain long enough to help me catch those rejuvenating Z’s. You, on the other hand, helped me drown out reminders of the daily grind so I could serenely doze off.
I'm not in the 18 to 49 demo everyone refers to as the key to this debacle your network seems to have fabricated from thin air. Unfortunately, I just missed this benchmark by a year and earned the right to watch whatever someone else thinks I should.
Not to dismiss Mr. O’Brien’s or Mr. Fallon’s part in this late-night TV comedy string, but I’m afraid my association with them was sporadic and sometimes fraught with negative emotions. If I was awake during Conan, I was likely pacing around waiting for my younger teen to return home safely from a study session (yeah, I was born yesterday). But if I was watching Fallon, then watch out! I may not have had my wits about me because that meant my oldest was still out or awake on a school night and I was playing night watchman until he was in bed with the lights out.
Jimmy didn’t get too many laughs out of me, and not that his jokes would fall flat, but I was likely zoning out counting to 10 to calm down before chewing out the subversive kid.
Yes, I did wait up for Letterman a few times. Sometimes, the responsibilities of a parent involve finding the internal fortitude to put up with some prima donna behavior at home, and well, I needed inspiration from someone. But this didn’t happen often.
Believe it or not, an impressive guest list was not at the top of my requirements to tune into the "Jay Leno Show." Watching the Jay Walking segment always lightened things up around here during study time (10 p.m. is prime cramming time the night before a test), ‘cause boy, Jay, you really found some jaywalkers with even less brain cells than mine in spite of my present restricted parental state.
It lifted our self esteem knowing that a college grad during her own graduation ceremony didn’t know what the Gettysburg Address is, and not where it was! (Hope you never reveal which institution of higher learning this kid was graduating from).
English homework got a second look after laughing at the headlines segment and the things that escapes editor’s eyes; “Kayaking is hard when the water is frozen” or “Republicans turned off by size of Obama’s package."
You never know if you’ll be the next idiot who didn’t catch that nuance or the dimwit who approved that headline if you don't do your homework.
So, dang it, Leno, you are abandoning me, but I understand.
I was in it for the laughs because frankly, at this hour of the night, I can barely put a coherent sentence together directing my own show at home, especially if I wanted to avoid the scene turning in to a family drama. Staying up ‘till 11:35 is a royal pain in the bum, so I’ll have to catch you, and the rest of the Nightly Boisterous Crew on the DVR (if it doesn't flip out and decide not to record you).
Maybe we’ll meet again after the kids have moved out — or I retire, whichever occurs first.
