Will Ferrell appeared as his “Anchorman” character Ron Burgundy on the latest “Stand Up to Cancer” telethon. The one-hour special to raise money and awareness was simulcast live across all four major networks.
While most of the celebrity guests were sincere with their stories, Ferrell brought one of the evening’s few moments of levity. He stayed in character through his entire segment, which means he was a clueless and insensitive blowhard.
When the feed cut to him, sitting at his anchor desk, Burgundy clearly didn’t know the camera was on him, as he was regaling someone on the crew about his latest sexual exploit.
“Shes a bit boxy, heavy girl. I can barely move her,” he said. “Real sturdy frame, nice trunk on her. Im blackout drunk. Im fading in and out and in and out. And we just start going to town. Were like screw it i dont care whos watching. I realize im making out with a cigarette machine.”
Once he realizes the camera is on him, Burgundy says he’s fully on board with the idea of standing up to Cancer. “Let’s grab one of cancers testicles and pop it like a plump water balloon on a hot summer day,” he said. But he didn’t stop there, lashing out at other Zodiac signs like Gemini and Pisces.
Wrapping up, he was furious to discover that they weren’t getting paid for this, insisting that he get a carload of “SU2C” mugs as compensation.
See that disastrous appearance above. The venerable newsman also filmed several short promos for the special, some of which can be seen below.
Stand Up to Cancer is still accepting donations. You can call (888) 907-8263 or donate online at SU2C.org.