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Vatican Newspaper Slams New ‘Star Wars’ as ‘Confusing and Vague,’ ‘Not a Classy Reboot’

So, there’s the one person who hated “The Force Awakens”

A film review in Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano ripped “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” calling it “confusing and vague.” Emilio Ranzato was specifically not a fan of the Dark Side in “Episode VII.”

In “The Force Awakens,” Ranzato wrote, “the counterpart of Darth Vader, Kylo Ren, wears a mask merely to emulate his predecessor, while the character who needs to substitute Emperor Palpatine as the incarnation of supreme evil represents the most serious defect of the film.”

Ren and Supreme Leader Snoke failed “most spectacularly” in representing evil, the critic continued. In other words, you guys are no Darth Vader.

Continuing his rant against the bad guys, Ranzato wrote that the use of computer-generated imagery in creating Snoke’s appearance “is the clumsiest and tackiest result you can obtain from computer graphics.”

Ranzato referred to the film’s feel as more of a reboot, really, than an actual sequel — its intention.

“Not a classy reboot however, like (Christopher) Nolan’s ‘Batman,’ but an update twisted to suit today’s tastes and a public more accustomed to sitting in front of a computer than in a cinema,” he penned.

Finally, Ranzato is just about the only one in the galaxy not praising J.J. Abrams‘ efforts in reviving the franchise.

Abrams’ direction, he wrote, “is in fact modeled on the sloppiest current action films derived from the world of video games. The only merit of J.J. Abrams‘ film is to show, by contrast, how the direction of the previous films was elegant, balanced and above all appropriate.”