Watch John Malkovich Scare the Bejeezus Out of Kids as a Party Planner (Video)

“I promise you it will be a birthday they’ll never forget… no matter how hard they try,” the actor said in a sketch on Friday’s “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert”

Last Updated: February 5, 2017 @ 4:17 PM

John Malkovich played up his image as a primo movie bad guy in the creepiest (but funniest) of ways — promoting a kids’ party planning team on Friday’s “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert.”

In the comedy sketch, Colbert played the “good” to Malkovich’s “evil” as they introduced “Stephen and John’s Kid-Tabular Birthday Entertainment.”

“I promise you it will be a birthday they’ll never forget… no matter how hard they try,” Malkovich said with that spine-chilling tone he’s so famous for.

As Colbert inflated balloon animals and pulled an endless stream of colored kerchiefs from his sleeve, Malkovich said, “We also tell stories — tales of man’s inhumanity to man that will bring your children to tears.”

He then sang his version of “happy” birthday: “Today you burst forth/from your mother’s womb/now you’re one day closer/to your lonely tomb.”

Check out the hilarious video above.

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