Stephen Colbert kicked off his faux conservative talk show on Wednesday by pretending to celebrate the Republicans’ victory in the midterm elections, and then advised President Barack Obama to seek comfort by picking up two ounces of freshly legalized marijuana in the nation’s capital.
“Sure, as a conservative it is tempting to gloat, but I’m going to be humble about this for two reasons: One, I’m amazing at being humble,” Colbert joked in the first segment (above) dedicated to the election results. “And two, I want to be sensitive to all of my liberal viewers. I have been told that some liberals do what the show. I don’t know why. It’s a free country.”
In an effort to remain humble, Colbert ordered his staff to empty out the rafters of balloons he was planning to drop, as well as the speakers he had filled with celebratory music. The result is, of course, a celebration worth watching.
In a second segment (below), Colbert covered a topic many liberals in Washington, D.C. probably are celebrating. It is now legal to possess two ounces of pot, and up to six marijuana plants in the District of Columbia. Obama has admitted to being a regular user of the drug in the past, so Colbert recommended the Commander in Chief get back into the habit.
“You’re looking at two years with a Republican house and senate. What’s the worst that can happen?” Colbert asked. “You get high, and nothing gets done? You get high, and maybe get paranoid that Congress is out to get you?”
Watch Colbert declare D.C. to be known from this point forward as “Dank Chronic”:
