Steve Buscemi Shares His (Unsuccessful) Auditions for ‘Lady Bird,’ ‘The Shape of Water,’ More (Video)

“Boardwalk Empire” star was clearly robbed of his chance to appear in an Oscar-nominated film

Last Updated: March 3, 2018 @ 4:07 PM

Steve Buscemi wasn’t nominated for an Oscar this year, but that’s not for lack of trying. On Friday’s “Late Show With Stephen Colbert,” he joked that he auditioned for every film that ended up a 2018 Best Picture nominee. Though not one of those attempts resulted in a role — and we can’t imagine why — Buscemi shared “what could have happened.”

Among the “Boardwalk Empire” star’s phony failed auditions were Academy Award-hopefuls “Lady Bird,” “The Shape of Water,” “Dunkirk,” “Call Me by Your Name” and “Phantom Thread.”

But Buscemi’s inability to stop giggling at the name Reynolds Woodcock kept him from landing a role in Daniel Day Lewis’ flick, and his God-awful British accent left something to be desired for “Dunkirk.” Apparently, no one told him “Lady Bird” isn’t about an actual bird — or a woman. He was a little too focused on Armie Hammer to stick Michael Stulbarg’s moving speech in “Call Me by Your Name,” and his attempt to play the suave marine creature in “The Shape of Water” didn’t go swimmingly.

Sadly we did not get to see his attempts to land a part in “Get Out,” “Darkest Hour,” “The Post” or “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.” Actually, maybe that is for the best.

Watch Buscemi’s faux auditions above.