If you were disappointed by the courtroom sketches of Taylor Swift that emerged from her butt-groping trial last week, you weren’t alone.
But listen, the guy who drew them has an explanation for all the haters.
Sketch artist Jeff Kandyba spoke to Denver station KDVR on Monday and offered an explanation that seemed tailor-made to appease angry Swifties — the “Shake it Off” singer is so attractive that she’s more difficult to sketch than the average person.
“A person like Taylor Swift, who is very pretty — has perfectly proportioned dimensions on the face — is actually much harder [to sketch],” Kandyba told the station.
Kandyba, who’s been plying his trade in the Colorado court system since the 1980s, added, “It’s hard. Some people are just much easier to draw than others,” he said. “If you give me somebody with a beard and glasses — bingo — got it.”
“Everybody’s got little idiosyncrasies about them that you want to pick up on,” the artist also noted.
The courtroom sketches of Swift, which emerged as the singer underwent a trial to determine if Denver radio DJ David Mueller had groped her rear-end during a 2013 meet-and-greet at Denver’s Pepsi center, were widely criticized by Swift fans on social media.
“This courtroom sketch of taylor swift is terrible and I’m crying,” wrote one disappointed Swiftie.
“Important question prompted by this courtroom sketch of Taylor Swift: Has the illustrator EVER SEEN Taylor Swift?” wrote another observer.
“Courtroom sketch of Taylor Swift looks like my evil twin, down to the exact same dress,” mused another Twitter wag.
“This courtroom sketch of Taylor Swift looks… absolutely nothing like her,” another critic weighed in.
“If #TaylorSwift is pissed at ass-grabbing DJ imagine how she feels about an inept courtroom sketch artist,” pondered another commenter.
“How long before Taylor Swift sues this courtroom sketch artist?” asked one critic.
“I think it’s safe to say the courtroom sketch artist is a Katy Perry fan,” one Twitter user wrote, referencing Swift’s headline-grabbing feud with Perry.
Perhaps-unflattering renditions of Swift aside, the trial worked out in the singer’s favor, with a judge tossing Mueller’s claims against her, and a jury siding with Swift in her claim against Mueller on Monday, awarding her a a symbolic $1 for groping her during the meet-and-greet.
Here's Everything To Know About Katy Perry and Taylor Swift's Bad Blood
The bad blood between Katy Perry and Taylor Swift has been under debate ever since the 2014 single dropped. Perry recently explained to James Corden during "Carpool Karaoke" what the feud is all about. Here, we break it down for you.
Various
Fast friends
Back in 2009, the two pop stars were friends. They tweeted, went to parties together and took pictures together at award shows. But Swift says she didn't know if the friendship was genuine or not. "She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, 'Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?" Swift told Rolling Stone in a 2014 interview.
Twitter
Back-up dancer drama
Three back-up dancers--Lockhart Brownlie, Scott Myrick and Leah Adler--agreed to dance for Katy during her "Prism" tour in 2013, but also wanted to tour with Swift for her "Red" tour. The dancers agreed to leave Swift's tour early in order to join Perry.
Various
Perry explains
Perry told James Corden during her recent "Carpool Karaoke" segment about the drama. “It’s so crazy!” Perry said. “Okay, so there are three backing dancers that went on tour with her tour, right? And they asked me before they went on tour if they could go, and I was like, ‘Yeah, of course. I’m not on a record cycle and get the work, and she’s great and all that. But I will be on a record cycle probably in about a year. So be sure to put a 30-day contingency in your contract so you can get out if you want to join me when I say I’m going back on.’ That year came up, right? And I texted all of them because I’m very close with them and I said, ‘Look, just FYI, I’m about to start. I want to put the word out there. They said, ‘Okay, we’re going to go and talk to management about it.’ And they did, and they got fired.”
Getty Images
Swift's version
But Swift didn't see the incident as a misunderstanding. She saw it as a calculated business move meant to sabotage her tour. She did something so horrible," Swift said in that Rolling Stone interview. "I was like, 'Oh, we're just straight-up enemies.' And it wasn't even about a guy! It had to do with business. She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me."
Getty Images
Bad Blood
So in 2014, on Swift's first pop-only album, "1989," is the song "Bad Blood." The music video features several of Swift's best gal pals--definitely not Perry, though.
The lyrics speak for themselves: "You know it used to be mad love So take a look what you've done ’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood, hey! Now we've got problems And I don't think we can solve 'em You made a really deep cut And baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!"
Last year, when Swift broke up with boyfriend Calvin Harris, he tweeted and then deleted: "I know you're off tour and you need someone new to try and bury like Katy ETC but I'm not that guy, sorry. I won't allow it," further confirming suspicions that the "someone" Swift was talking about in 2014 was Perry.
Getty Images
Perry claps back
And so, in true musician-beef style, Perry has now responded in her latest single, "Swish Swish." The lyrics make it clear that Perry isn't messing around. "Your game is tired You should retire You're 'bout cute as An old coupon expired And karma's not a liar She keeps receipts"
Well, Perry has said that because Swift started it, "it’s time for her to finish it." This feud probably won't be solved with subtweets or music videos. The ball's in your court, Taylor. Swish.
Getty Images
1 of 9
Katy Perry admitted to James Corden that the pop stars have beef. ”It’s time for her to finish it,“ she says
The bad blood between Katy Perry and Taylor Swift has been under debate ever since the 2014 single dropped. Perry recently explained to James Corden during "Carpool Karaoke" what the feud is all about. Here, we break it down for you.