Ted Cruz’s College Roommate Spanks Senator Over Porn Twitter-Like

“Sadly, the fact that Ted Cruz jacks off to mediocre porn spam is the most human thing we can say about him,” “The Hangover Part III” writer Craig Mazin tweets

Ted Cruz Open to Restarting Campaign, He Says With Straight Face
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Spanks for the memories, eh, Craig Mazin?

“The Hangover Part III” writer Mazin, who roomed with Ted Cruz at Princeton, is offering his uniquely grim perspective following news that the Texas senator’s official Twitter account “liked” a porn video on Monday.

Mazin weighed in on the topic via a series of tweets Monday, ranging from the cringe-worthy to amusing, and sometimes a little of both at once.

“Now imagine Ted Cruz is doing this four feet below you in the bottom bunk bed. Yes, my misery very much appreciates your company,” Mazin wrote in one of numerous tweets on the topic.

Mazin added, “Sadly, the fact that Ted Cruz jacks off to mediocre porn spam is the most human thing we can say about him. This is actually his high point.”

Mazin wasn’t done there by a long shot. After one Twitter user responded to him with the criticism, “Oh wahh wahh you just couldn’t handle the delegates,” the writer weighed in, “If ‘delegates’ is a euphemism for Ted Cruz beating off in our frickin’ room, then yeah… I COULD NOT HANDLE THE DELEGATES.”

Mazin went on to tweet, “I never wanted this for any of you. I thought maybe I’d feel better if two or three people knew. Not six billion. That said? I FEEL BETTER.”

Cruz’s supposed masturbatory habits are a topic that Mazin has touched on before. Last year, in apparent reaction to news that Cruz had once supported a state law that souht to ban sex toys, Mazin wrote, “Ted Cruz thinks people don’t have a right to ‘stimulate their genitals.’ I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.”

After his official Twitter account “liked” a hardcore porn video Monday night, Cruz spoke to reporters Tuesday, blaming the social-media incident on a “staffing issue” and calling it a “mistake.”

Speaking to reporters Tuesday at the Capitol, Cruz said, “There are a number of people on the team who have access to the account. It appears that someone inadvertently hit the ‘like’ button and when we discovered the post, which was I guess an hour or two later, we pulled it down.”

“It was a staffing issue and it was inadvertent, it was a mistake, it was not a deliberate action,” he continued, according to the Washington Post. “We’re dealing with it internally but it was a mistake, it was not malicious conduct.”

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