‘The Daily Show’ Nails What a Real Romantic Gesture Looks Like in the Age of Coronavirus (Video)
HINT: People bought way too much of it when this mess started
Ross A. Lincoln | March 24, 2020 @ 10:22 PM
Last Updated: March 25, 2020 @ 6:49 AM
As the coronavirus pandemic shutdown continues, one constant has been the continual problem of people needlessly hoarding goods, causing artificial shortages. But “The Daily Show” found the bright side of that by identifying a new grand romantic gesture perfect for these troubled times: Buying toilet paper.
“Relationship on the rocks because of self-isolation? Well get her something that shows you still care,” begins a fake commercial for “Love Toilet Paper.” The clip was posted online as part of coronavirus quarantine content “The Daily Show” has been putting up on YouTube since the show, like every late-night show, went on hiatus.
“Nothing says ‘I love you’ like the most valuable commodity around,” the fake ad continues. This was followed by offers of delivering the toilet paper in customizable formats, including a TP bouquet, which are double-ply “because her TP should be as strong as your relationship.”
The ad also offers boxes of personalized toilet paper, chocolate boxes full of extra soft, and a TP-themed over-sized teddy bear.
“Your love has no bottom, but she does,” the ad concludes. “Let her know you care about it.”
Watch the whole clip above. And uh, actually, given how grocery stores have been looking lately, we’d probably consider marrying just about anyone who gave that to us.
20 Movies With Extremely Happy Endings to Make You Forget All About Coronavirus (Photos)
Hey, uh, are you all OK? Because we know it's not a relaxing time, what with the ever-worsening coronavirus pandemic and everything being locked down. But if we're gonna make it through... however long of isolating at home with our sanity intact, we need to stay positive. And we have just the thing for that! Just watch one of these movies with extremely happy endings, every single one guaranteed to leave you feeling so upbeat and genuinely awesome that you'll forget all about covid-19. Coronavirus, schmoronavirus, we say!
"Back to the Future" (1985): Marty fixes his life and his parents' lives with time travel. Then we get a SUPER DOPE sequel hook. And then comes Huey Lewis and the News at their artistic and commercial peak to make you feel so good you won't care about a statewide lockdown.
"Chef" (2014): This is a great movie if you want to remember the Before Times, when we could still leave our houses and eat street food. You also get a dance party in the closing credits. Take that, end times anxiety.
"Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs" (2009): Tim FINALLY shows real affection for his son and then Flint and Sam kiss. No, I'm not coughing I'm crying.
"Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey" (1993): Wait, the two dogs and their kitty friend make it home alive and Chance learns to love his family? Shut up! I'm not crying; you're crying. I SAID SHUT UP! I AM NOT CRYING!
"Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again!" (2018): It's already one of the greatest movie musicals of all time before the ending turns into a totally insane sing along to Abba's "Super Trouper" featuring the older characters dancing with their younger selves, the ghost of Meryl Streep, and CHER!!!!
"Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping" (2016): The criminally underappreciated masterpiece from The Lonely Island is nonstop hilarious, and then Michael Bolton shows up at the end to sing "Incredible Thoughts." Also, the picture here is the world's cutest kitten just hugging a dog, which you'd know if your brain was a genius.
"Shazam!" (2019): By far the best movie not called "Superman: The Movie" to be based on a DC Comic. If you didn't yell "Hell Yes" and embarrass yourself in the theater when the thing depicted in the image above happened, you need a hug.
"Sing Street" (2016): Awesome songs, a great coming-of-age story, then we end with a truly cathartic bittersweet moment of hope for the future and the successful pursuit of one's dreams. For instance, I dream of being able to leave the house again.
"To All the Boys I've Loved Before" (2018): This is a pretty good kiss, too.
"Trolls" (2016): When Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick sing "Can't Stop the Feeling" to turn the Bergens into happy dancing party people your mood will be dramatically improved, and I know because in November 2016 I saw this three times in the theater because, for some reason, I needed cheering up.
"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" (1971): "Don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted." "What's that?" "He lived happily ever after." Just like we will once this whole thing is over.
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Self-quarantine more like self-quarantastic
Hey, uh, are you all OK? Because we know it's not a relaxing time, what with the ever-worsening coronavirus pandemic and everything being locked down. But if we're gonna make it through... however long of isolating at home with our sanity intact, we need to stay positive. And we have just the thing for that! Just watch one of these movies with extremely happy endings, every single one guaranteed to leave you feeling so upbeat and genuinely awesome that you'll forget all about covid-19. Coronavirus, schmoronavirus, we say!
