As the coronavirus pandemic shutdown continues, one constant has been the continual problem of people needlessly hoarding goods, causing artificial shortages. But “The Daily Show” found the bright side of that by identifying a new grand romantic gesture perfect for these troubled times: Buying toilet paper.
“Relationship on the rocks because of self-isolation? Well get her something that shows you still care,” begins a fake commercial for “Love Toilet Paper.” The clip was posted online as part of coronavirus quarantine content “The Daily Show” has been putting up on YouTube since the show, like every late-night show, went on hiatus.
“Nothing says ‘I love you’ like the most valuable commodity around,” the fake ad continues. This was followed by offers of delivering the toilet paper in customizable formats, including a TP bouquet, which are double-ply “because her TP should be as strong as your relationship.”
The ad also offers boxes of personalized toilet paper, chocolate boxes full of extra soft, and a TP-themed over-sized teddy bear.
“Your love has no bottom, but she does,” the ad concludes. “Let her know you care about it.”
Watch the whole clip above. And uh, actually, given how grocery stores have been looking lately, we’d probably consider marrying just about anyone who gave that to us.