“The Daily Show” host Trevor Noah is just as disappointed in Ivanka Trump as he is with Kate Winslet’s character, Rose, in “Titanic.” He said as much on Wednesday’s show, after the First Daughter announced that she’s in support of the Trump administration’s decision to roll back an Obama administration policy meant to provide equal pay.
“If you’ve been watching the Trump campaign, you know that one of Ivanka’s big issues is equal pay in the workplace,” Noah said. “Which makes today’s news extremely disappointing.”
“Wow, Ivanka, really?,” the host continued. “She just treated equal pay the way Rose treated Jack. I’ll never let go, pay equality… OK, bye-bye.”
Noah brought in contributor Michelle Wolf to discuss Ivanka’s weak stance, and she wasn’t as surprised as Noah about the First Daughter’s flip flop. “I’m so sick of everyone thinking Ivanka is the voice of reason,” Wolf said. “She could join ISIS and everyone would be like, ‘Thank God she’s there. She’s gonna help ISIS get maternity leave.”
“She lied, because she sucks. Ivanka cares about women the way Donald Trump cares about women… He doesn’t,” Wolf continued.
After Noah played several news clips describing Ivanka as “disappointed” she couldn’t change her father’s mind on several issues, including the Paris Climate Agreement and taking a harder stance on Charlottesville, Wolf scoffed.
“So we’re supposed to believe she’s disappointed because someone heard that she was?” she said. “I feel like when it comes to Ivanka, everyone forgets about lying!”
“Ivanka’s playing both sides,” Wolf continued. “She wants the credit for influencing her dad, but she doesn’t want to get blamed for anything he does. And that’s what Trumps do! They want all of the credit and none of the blame. You just don’t see it with Ivanka because she’s kind of pretty.”
Wolf explained that if Eric Trump were to replace Ivanka, “we’d all see right through it.” “Eric and Ivanka, they’re the same batch of cookies, she just didn’t get dropped on the floor.”
Take a Tour of the Hilarious, Fake Mike Pence Site That Fooled a Lot of People (Photos)
There's been mounting speculation that Mike Pence might stage a run for President in 2020 if Donald Trump is unable to run, but of course the VP has denied that. However, plenty of people were fooled by a fake website declaring Pence the 46th President of the United States -- many of them thinking he'd been hacked. The website, officialmikepence.com, is loaded with jabs at Pence's views on LGBT individuals and the alleged claims that he refers to his wife as "mother." Click through for some of the site's wildest jokes.
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The main gag is that this is a secret website, with a banner that says "Private Link: Do Not Share," as though it needs to be kept out of view of Trump.
Turns out that Pence's running mate in 2020 is none other than the Son of God himself, "Christ."
A fake campaign ad with hilarious smash cuts goes as far as to outright ask you to call him The President of the United States.
Next to "Mike Facts" with absurdly bland comments like "Mike Pence likes to watch movies" is a banner ad that reads "Number of Gays Who Have Returned to the Lord."
Don't forget to read the fine print, which promises a Russian translation coming soon, and a helpful link for those searching for the bodybuilder also named Mike Pence.
Pence's "bio" says he's "proud to serve the white and Christian population of America." It even recalls the time he exposed and boycotted Disney's "Mulan" saying women shouldn't be in the military, which is totally real.
This disturbing image of five smiling white children calls to "return this country back to its rightful owners."
If you really want to get to know the man, check out Pence's "What I Ate" section. Here's a menu sampling: "3 egg whites with mayonnaise vinaigrette, four hard boiled eggs, unbuttered white toast and a corn smoothie."
Did you know that Pence's "favorite type of technology is radio" and that he can "play all of 'Joker' by Steve Miller Band on guitar except the slide part after 'Some people call me Maurice?'" Now you do.
In the "Mother May I" tab, Pence's wife Karen answers questions from "the community," a.k.a. Pence himself. Pro tip: You're not allowed to eat alone with a woman other than your wife.
A helpful banner ad asking if you're a homosexual takes you "straight" to hell.com.
As President, Pence promises to deport "Italians, Jewish Persons, All mirrors in women's bathrooms, and men wearing boxer briefs."
The issues matter to Pence. His belief: "Corn is our country, and our country is corn."
Don't forget to stop at the Official Mike Pence store, where you can pick up an autographed copy of the Bible, Vasoline for the corner of your mouth, and a $72 "Shame Cube" to wear over your head.
There's been mounting speculation that Mike Pence might stage a run for President in 2020 if Donald Trump is unable to run, but of course the VP has denied that. However, plenty of people were fooled by a fake website declaring Pence the 46th President of the United States -- many of them thinking he'd been hacked. The website, officialmikepence.com, is loaded with jabs at Pence's views on LGBT individuals and the alleged claims that he refers to his wife as "mother." Click through for some of the site's wildest jokes.