On Thursday’s episode of “The Opposition With Jordan Klepper,” citizen journalist Laura Grey took a page from Jeanine Pirro’s playbook and lobbied Donald Trump for a new job as first daughter.
During a segment in which Grey defended Fox News personality Pirro’s fitness to replace Jeff Sessions as Attorney General — Politico reports she has been lobbying for the job — Grey noted all the ways Pirro has criticized and condemned Sessions. Then she turned her attention to Ivanka Trump.
“Can Sessions and hire Pirro. And while we’re here, Ivanka is doing a terrible job as your daughter! You need someone more qualified. Wink,” Grey said, while awkwardly winking directly into the camera.
At that point Klepper pointed out that Trump’s daughter isn’t a job someone can steal. “Oh yeah? I’m yelling on TV, so I beg to differ. Ivanka, it’s time for you to put on your big-girl pants and start acting like a daughter. And if you can’t get on board, I know someone whose closet is nothing but big girl-pants,” Grey continued.
“And I can be a Trump daughter who doesn’t blink when the going gets tough. Because the second I start to feel that little twinge in my brain, telling me that blind allegiance to your dad is shameful, and that the same things I’m standing up for are hateful and cruel, and that my moral compass had been shattered so badly that I don’t even know the right way forward anymore, I will crush that feeling, down to a fine powder, and I will snort it to make myself stronger.”
You can watch the whole clip above.