The internet caught a collective case of the vapors this week, after "Project Runway" mentor Tim Gunn revealed on his new daytime talk show "The Revolution" that he hadn't had sex in 29 years.
"How could a man of such obvious charms as Gunn's deprive the world of his sexuality for nearly three decades?" some wondered.
Others merely reeled when suddenly confronted with the mental image of Gunn, 56, engaged in carnal relations at all.
For perhaps obvious reasons, TheWrap would prefer to divert our attention elsewhere — anywhere, really — and focus on what's gone on in the world around Gunn during his impressive monastic stretch.
As Tim "Not Gettin' None" Gunn keeps his legs crossed and summons all of the tantric reserve he can muster, we present 10 Ways the World Has Changed Since Tim Gunn Last Had Sex.
10. In 1983, the Berlin Wall was still in place. With its 1989 destruction, Gunn's aversion to physical intimacy would effectively become the most powerful barrier on the planet.
9. Also in 1983, Meryl Streep won her last Oscar, for "Sophie's Choice." Is it mere coincidence that the same year also marked the end of Gunn's sexual activity?
8. Sean Connery stars in "Never Say Never Again," marking the last time that he would be able to convincingly play James Bond. Again, the question is begged — could that be unrelated?
7. Justin Bieber had not yet been born. Nearly twice over.
6. The iPod would still not be invented for another 18 years, depriving Gunn of a method of conveniently and tastefully compiling his makeout-jam mixes.
5. When Tim Gunn last got busy, people thought Joe Piscopo was as funny as his "Saturday Night Live" co-star Eddie Murphy. We'll pause for a minute while you drink that in.
4. In 1983, the rock band Kiss first appeared publicly without makeup.
3. When Tim Gunn last had carnal relations, "Flashdance" rode the top of the box office. Maybe it was the leg warmers that shut Gunn's mojo down.
2. The Drug Abuse Resistance Program (D.A.R.E.) launched that year. Clearly, the philosophy of "just say no" resonated with Gunn on some level.
1. In 1983, Bonnie Tyler shot to the top of the charts with "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Turn around, Tim Gunn … do you recognize anyone in those lyrics?