Trevor Noah was pretend-horrified Wednesday by a New York Times story about the amount of money Donald Trump reportedly received from his father.
“I am devastated… This exposes Trump’s origin story as a lie,” said Noah. “This is like finding out that Superman was actually born in Cleveland, and he can’t even fly.”
According to a Times investigation published Tuesday, Donald Trump’s father, Fred Trump actually gave him hundreds of millions of dollars, from Donald Trump’s childhood well into his 40s. This included three trust funds, cash gifts, and bankrolling Donald’s companies, as well as help with complex tax dodges.
“This is just embarrassing,” said Noah. “You’re a 40 year-old man and your daddy is still paying for your office furniture? Did you do anything for yourself, Donald? Did you actually bang those models in the ’80s, or was that your dad too?”
The Times’ story also says that in 1990, Donald tried unsuccessfully to force his father to make him sole executor of the family estate. According to the report, Fred Trump feared that Donald was planning to use the money to bail out his own failing businesses.
“I’ve heard of the apple not falling far from the tree, but I’ve never heard of the apple falling from the tree and then trying to take all of that tree’s money,” Noah joked. “I’m just saying, that apple is an a——.”
Watch the whole thing above.
But uh, one last thing: Superman actually was born in Cleveland. Co-creators Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel met while attending Cleveland’s Glenville High School, and the earliest versions of their “Superman” stories were set in the city. But we won’t tell Trevor if you won’t.