We haven’t seen Triumph the Insult Comic Dog for quite a while, but Robert Smigel’s puppet pooch has still got it. The cigar-chomping Rottweiler treated Ted Cruz like a fire hydrant on Monday’s “Late Show With Stephen Colbert.”
Triumph and Smigel spent some time just before Tuesday’s midterm elections down in Texas, where Republican Cruz is defending his Senate seat against Democrat Beto O’Rourke.
Beto’s supporters got hit with a solid Netflix joke, and then another about “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” But Smigel’s actual ire was (predictably) reserved for Cruz and his voters.
Of particular interest to our readers, the conservatives felt Triumph’s wrath via “Duck Dynasty” and “The Shape of Water” jokes.
And then there was the best slight of the day, which also was rooted in entertainment and media.
“I’m not saying Ted Cruz supports racist policies, but he was just given the 9 a.m. hour of the ‘Today’ show,” Triumph told a group of Texans.
For those who have been hibernating since mid-October, that’s a slight at Megyn Kelly losing her NBC morning show after initially defending wearing blackface on Halloween.
Finally, Triumph made his way to the front of the crowd, where he actually got some face time with Cruz himself.
When Cruz told Triumph that it was the Democrats and not the Republicans who had him fixed, Smigel quickly came up with this comeback: “I support spaying and neutering — just like Trump did to you.”
Watch the video above — and get out and vote today.
Ted Cruz v Donald Trump Timeline: Their Insults About Wives and Rat Sex (Photos)
This week began with nude pictures of Donald Trump's wife, Melania Trump, and ended with Ted Cruz calling Trump a rat and just barely avoiding the word "ratfucking." Let's review.
Getty Images
It all started with an anti-Trump Facebook ad targeted at Mormons from the super PAC America Awesome, which featured a photo of Melania Trump posing naked for GQ.
Getty Images
Taking offense to the perceived slight, Trump threatened to "spill the beans" on Cruz's wife Heidi. "Be careful, Lyin' Ted," he warned on Twitter.
"Pic of your wife not from us. Donald, if you try to attack Heidi, you're more of a coward than I thought. #classless," responded Cruz.
Getty Images
On Wednesday, a story accusing Cruz of having affairs with five women appeared in The National Enquirer. Cruz denied the story, calling it "complete and utter lies" and "a smear that has come from Donald Trump and his henchmen."
Getty Images
While accusing Trump of planting the story, Cruz tried to talk around the word "ratfucking," derogatory slang for an especially dirty kind of political sabotage.
“He’s a man for whom a term was coined for copulating with a rodent,” Cruz said of a former Trump ally. “Well let me be clear, Mr. Trump may be a rat but I have no desire to copulate with him. And this garbage does not belong in politics.”
Getty Images
On Friday, Trump issued a statement on Facebook, denying the accusation that he planted the Enquirer story.
"While [The National Enquirer was] right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards, and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin’ Ted Cruz," he wrote.
Getty Images
1 of 6
This week in disgusting presidential politics
This week began with nude pictures of Donald Trump's wife, Melania Trump, and ended with Ted Cruz calling Trump a rat and just barely avoiding the word "ratfucking." Let's review.