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Trump Sent Bodyguard to McDonald’s Because White House Chefs Couldn’t Reproduce Quarter Pounder

Keith Schiller is set to testify before the House Intelligence Committee on Tuesday

It looks like the president loves late-night McDonald’s runs.

It turns out that Keith Schiller — who is set to be grilled by the House Intelligence Committee on Tuesday about a 2013 trip to Moscow and the 35-page dossier (yes, the one about the alleged “golden showers”) as part of the ongoing investigation into collusion with Russia during the 2016 presidential campaign — would go to Mickey D’s at Trump’s behest when White House chefs fell short.

“When the White House kitchen staff couldn’t match the satisfaction of a quarter-pounder with cheese (no pickles, extra ketchup) and a fried apple pie, it was Schiller, bodyguard and Trump whisperer, who would head down New York Avenue to McDonald’s on a stealth fast food run,” Politico wrote in their recent profile of Schiller.

What may alarm some more, however, is the absence of fries from Trump’s order.

Because several White House officials and advisors are being interviewed, many believe nothing revelatory will come out of Schiller’s testimony. But what Politico reports is current aides’ worry that seeing the man “who is widely credited with knowing how to manage the president’s moods, his diet, what triggers him and what soothes him” put in front of the committee will anger Trump.

“The image of Keith walking in and testifying is not going to make the president happy,” a former campaign aide told Politico.

Maybe it’s time for another McDonald’s run.