“Tucker on Twitter” came online this week, and the all-new, slapped-together, DIY studio at Tucker Carlson’s summer home in Maine is giving off “Twin Peaks” vibes, both for its look, and its multiple pointless mysteries.
The UFO joystick, canes on the wall, a tuft of wild hair – what’s really going on here?
When Fox News came to claim its equipment from Tucker Carlson’s home-based TV studio in Maine, they came for it all – the repo job reportedly took the old barn back down to the studs. So when the former king of 8 p.m. TV launched his Twitter show this week, it was also a first look at the post-cable, built-from-scratch production quality one could expect from such a venture on a tight timeline: not without its homemade quirks.
Carlson has reportedly courted some members of his loyal production staff to join his new venture, but if one is his hairstylist, he might want to reconsider: For the duration of “Tucker on Twitter,” he had a harmless but persistent cowlick springing from the top of his head.
Under the deliberate management of Fox News, not a single hair was ever out of place. Fact-check me.
Carlson devoted the top of his 10-minute show to the blown Karkhovka Dam in southern Ukraine, veered into sneering at the media and at one point landed on UFOs – nothing too distinctive from what he might cover on the erstwhile “Tucker Carlson Tonight.”
But the look was quite different, softer, woodier, more natural lighting with open windows behind the monologuing host exposing the leafy greens of early-summer upstate Maine and a – gun rack? – on the wall behind him?
Wait – are those guns? No, those aren’t guns.
Pool cues? This could be Carlson’s pool room – or is that fly-fishing equipment? His new bumper animation shows him fly fishing, after all.
But no – toward the end, we pan out to see they are – antique canes! Antique canes?
Relic of a beloved Carlson family patriarch? Or is Carlson a collector of historical walking sticks, and if so, is one of them the Preston Brooks? Because that would be impressive; that infamous crutch belongs in a national museum. Anyway, it’s not really clear yet, but we hope it will be because that’s just weird – it’s as if an elderly occult hand moved to place these artifacts in the background.
Finally, Carlson seems to be controlling with his left hand some kind of flat, round joystick, which was cleverly masked until one of the final shots, perhaps to control the camera. Hold on – didn’t we hear he had production staff along for the ride?
Isn’t that what they’re there for? Or – is he doing this alone?
Just him and his giant iPhone. Creepy, kinda, if true.
And how much does that joystick look like a flying saucer? As FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper once said, the truth is out there.