Tucker Carlson kept a promise Friday evening with a “dramatic” reading of one of former Georgia Rep. Stacey Abrams’ romance novels. And really, he wants to come off like he’s mocking it but it sure looks like he’s turned on a lot.
Unfortunately for those who hoped Carlson would read it himself, that didn’t happen. He pawned that task off on a producer named Alex McKaskill, who read excerpts from Abrams’ “Hidden Sins.” Abrams wrote some of the books before she became a lawmaker under the pen name Selena Montgomery.
Carlson bragged that, unlike some of the rarer and pricier versions of Abrams’ books, McKaskill only had to pay $7 for “Hidden Sins,” and at the end of the bit he encouraged viewers to get a copy of their own. He might have been joking, but given his tone when he found out about the novels’ existence earlier in the week, the excitement very well might have been real. While introducing the bit, Carlson told viewers he and the crew were “drawn to the salaciousness of this novel.”
McKaskill read only two excerpts from the novel, and since Fox didn’t want to run afoul of any obscenity laws, the excerpts were pretty brief and presumably didn’t begin to scratch the surface of the book’s sexual content.
Carlson was delighted the whole time, especially by one line in particular: “Too far away, she gripped his waist to pull him closer until she stood cradled between his hard thighs.”
“As you read it more we noticed our thighs were also getting harder, much harder,” he said.
McKaskill continued with another excerpt that made Carlson contemplate giving her a new nickname.
“Wicked thumbs tease her too sensitive flesh and stole her breath. But it would mean nothing if he didn’t understand. ‘You’re all I ever wanted,'” the passage read.
“Are we ever going forward ever be able to call Stacey Abrams anything but wicked thumbs?” Carlson asked. “We’ll see, probably not. The book is called ‘Hidden Sins,’ and frankly we feel like we’ve just sinned in public. You can have that feeling too for the low, low price of just $7… get it but go easy on your thighs. It’ll wear them out.”
With that uncomfortable sign-off, Carlson switched back to more typical topics on his show, like trawling through Hunter Biden’s texts to find anything he could pass off as somehow incriminating.
For the record: A previous version of this story misspelled Stacey Abrams’ name.