Isn’t it amazing how awesome almost everyone is? I mean, “rilly (sic) awesome and amazing.”
Someone’s child hits a dribbling grounder toward third base and it’s automatically “an awesome hit.” An oily-faced 15-year-old guy agrees with a ProActive-coated girl that Sbarro’s Pizza in the food court is amazing -- and true love blooms.
I hereby declare prohibition of the words “awesome” and “amazing” by anyone under 40, unless they have seen the second coming of the Christ or a third world country has detonated a nuclear device.
How did everyone become so great?
Somehow in post-Dr. Spock time, no child can be criticized for poor performance. “Needs work” is about as stringent a comment as a report card gets now.
I’ll tell you that you’re amazing and you’ll return the favor by stating how awesome I am. Thus, there is an agreement in principle that we are worthy of each other.
No one can marry someone because they’re nice and they can get along. Partners have to be awesome and amazing because they can’t be seen with anyone who is average at best. It would reflect badly on the partner.
And we’re ALL special, aren’t we? Everyone marries their “soulmate." But then, why is there such a large percentage of failed marriages?
Did someone lose their “soul” -- thus losing their “mate”?
Fuzzy and wishful thinking results in many an outrageously expensive wedding today. Average cost of the ceremony and reception is more than $25,000; that doesn't include the cost of the engagement party, rings, honeymoon, airline tickets, photographer and videographer. It is twice what was originally budgeted, thus starting a couple in the hole on their lifetime journey.
The television show “Bridezillas” was the best example of fairytale wishes running amok. These women led a frenzied search for the perfect gown, flowers, tiara and table favors, leaving abused friends, family, wedding planners and vendors in their wake.
The event took on the equivalent meaning of life itself. All the parts have to lead up to an awesome occasion or there will be hell to pay: verbal abuse taken to new depths.
So now the newly married couple starts their life hobbled by debt in search of the “Perfect Wedding."
What follows? The snappy autos (with large monthly payments) and zero-down McMansions are expected because they can’t be seen in anything less than an amazing car and an awesome house.
When the repo man comes-a-calling for the loaded SUV or the foreclosure notice is posted on the front door, the reality of reality TV might make for a better story: one with consequences.
I remember, in the Stone Age, when I was applying for graduate school, I was required to take the GRE (Graduate Record Exam) and the MAT (Miller Analogies Test). These results would give the universities a reasonable measure of a college graduate’s ability to communicate.
I wonder how the average scores are measuring up. I notice a marked decrease in word skills among the 20- to 30-somethings.
