In case you were getting ideas that Jerry Seinfeld‘s stand-up act might be a bit rusty these days, think again.
The co-creator of “Seinfeld” and new Beacon Theatre resident dropped a strong seven minutes on Stephen Colbert‘s “Late Night” Wednesday, even if he basically called us all fat slobs in the process.
“I don’t believe we have a weight problem until we are all physically touching each other all the time,” he quipped. “When it is solid human flesh, coast to coast — a jar of olives!”
Seinfeld later called the donut hole “a horrible little snack” and even a “freaky metaphysical concept.”
“You can’t sell people holes. A hole doesn’t exist — words have meanings!” he said, referring to them instead as “donut plugs.”
The stand-up legend and host of Crackle’s “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” then destroyed our buffet obsession: “[It’s] basically like driving your dog up to Petco, giving him money, and saying, ‘Why don’t you go in and get whatever you think you should have?”
Seinfeld’s final victim was Swanson’s TV dinners. We’ll let him give you the punchlines on the closer.
Watch the video above.