Keith Olbermann thinks he knows how soccer should evolve if it’s ever to become the next great American pastime.
On Tuesday, just hours after Belgium beat the USA and eliminated them from World Cup play, the outspoken personality served up seven salacious tips on what must change in order for soccer to have the best chance at succeeding stateside.
“I don’t care whether or not soccer succeeds or fails in this country. My job is to analyze, and comment, and mock,” Olbermann said in the clip from his show “Olbermann,” before launching into one of his infamous rants. “I have seven actual serious pieces of advice to make soccer work — or at least work better in this country.”
Some of his suggestions? Stop imitating the British (“You want an American soccer tradition; it requires three things: tradition, soccer, and American.”), lay off the elitism (“Your judgement is only valid if you convince me, too? What are you, in a cult?”), and stay away from FIFA (“These human corruption machines make the IOC look like Doctors Without Borders.”)
“If you want this sport to succeed in America – God, I hate saying something this jingoistic, I’m ashamed to say this — but make it more American,” Olbermann added, seconds before figuratively dropping the mic. “Or not. I don’t care.”
Watch the entire epic rant in the video above.