It was one of those typical holiday 'What up?" calls. Joe answered the phone upbeat and talkin' turkey. Dogs were barking in the background.
Actor Joe Pantoliano is a busy man these days. We all know of his film work and his Emmy award for his role as Ralph Cifaretto in “The Sopranos.” What isn't as well known is his personal mission to remove the stigma of mental illness.
In his role as founder of No Kidding, Me Too!, Joe just returned from Toronto where he gave the keynote speech for the Canadian Psychiatric Research Foundation's Annual Silver Dinner.
More on NKM2 in a minute.
Our conversation that day centered on his NKM2 documentary that shares the stories of people hiding behind the stigma of a mental disorder. He’s on a mission to get this film seen by more people, especially during a time of year that triggers an emotional roller coaster for a lot of people.
Joe expressed his delight and frustration over other well-meaning groups and organizations that share a similar mission. His delight is in the growing support for the cause. His frustration is in the messaging of some of these new groups.
Where Joe and NKM2.org see mental illness as a normal human dis-ease as any other body organ malady, some organizations still take the position of US helping THEM where WE are normal, THEY are not. Yet we (the normal people) encourage and provide support for them (the abnormal people). He can't help but notice the irony in groups that want to wipe out the stigma of mental illness by perpetuating the stigma.
For Joe, there is no distinction between them and us. It is a WE-are-one world where the human spirit in all its iterations is not only normal, it’s crazy beautiful. And therefore loved, appreciated and valued equally -- without judgment or stigma of any kind.
It's a world of unconditional love instead of toleration. It's a world Cifaretto wouldn’t comprehend.
Joe feels blessed to be able use his public recognition to command a stage to deliver his message -- whether it’s in Canada or during his trip to see the troops in Iraq this year. Many of our soldiers spoke to him privately about their own emotional trauma.
More than a few of our men and women in uniform spoke about their struggle for the first time. And felt the relief that comes with sharing such a personal story with someone who fully understands.
For many people far away from any battlefield, the winter holiday season is a time for family, love, laughter and abundant gifts. For others, it's a time that leaves a cavernous hole in the heart. A profound sadness is triggered by thoughts of being somehow 'less than' or "not normal" if you're not fully engaged in a joyous happy holiday "like everyone else".
To add insult to injury those with a mental disorder of any kind become the whispered about, tolerated or pitied person at the end of the dinner table.
