Stephen Colbert used several minutes of his “Late Show” monologue on Wednesday to explain to Newt Gingrich the differences between sex and sexual assault, since the former House Speaker didn’t seem to understand it during a heated interview with Megyn Kelly.
“You are fascinated with sex, and you don’t care about public policy,” Gingrich told the Fox News host when she brought up sexual assault allegations several women have made against Donald Trump.
First, Colbert pointed out the obvious: “Everybody is more fascinated with sex than public policy. If you’re not, there’s a pill for that now.”
But more importantly, the late-night comedian wanted to make sure Gingrich understood what sexual assault is, so he figured it’s finally time to have “the talk” about “the birds, the bees and the consent.”
Watch Colbert deliver the sarcastic monologue in the video above, or read it below.
“Newt, sweetheart, you’re growing up so fast. In fact, you’re 73. Your body’s changing. You probably noticed some strange new hair growing on your ear lobes. It’s perfectly natural. You’re old enough to finally learn about the birds, the bees and the consent. You see, when a man has special feelings for a woman and he wants to give her a special hug, he asks her a special question: “You up?” But grabbing a lady because you’re a TV star is not sex, it’s assault. And fun fact: Assault is a matter of public policy, because it’s illegal — even if you use Tic Tacs. I hope that clears things up, buddy. I would explain to you what sex is, but then I’d have to imagine you doing it.”