"A paint salesman. A high school student. A glassblower. A mother. A father. A construction worker.” This is either the lineup for the Village People’s new opening act or a pitch for a “Breakfast Club” remake.
Or maybe it was just Seacrest’s intros for our six “Idol” finalists!
In just a few short weeks, “Idol” has gone from “American Awful” to “American Average.” Yes, we have finally succeeded in taking out the talentless trash, so to speak. It’s been kind of like an episode of “Hoarders,” except without the vermin and collections of “vintage” fast food wrappers. But I sure will miss those Tim Urban moves!
It is gettin’ real, ya’ll! We are down to the Sexy Six (OK, make that the Sufferable Six) and as billboards all over L.A. have informed us, “There can only be one Idol.” (Side note: I especially like the billboard on Pico where they put a giant “X” through eliminated contestants’ photos!) With only a month left before Crystal Bowersox -- er, I mean the American Idol -- is crowned, every vote counts.
Last night featured a guest mentor that I -- gasp! -- actually approved of. As a Canadian who grew up in the sticks of Alabama (true story!), you don’t have to tell me what all the fuss is aboot when it comes to Shania Twain! Though she hasn’t released anything lately, Twain’s impact on country music is undeniable. She is clearly the Queen of Crossover and has paved the way for artists like Carrie Underwood and Lady Antebellum (who is performing on tonight’s results show).
I expected the Idols to massacre her songs, especially the guys, but they did quite well overall. I mean, this is the Sufferable Six we’re talking about here! Sure, the songs of Shania may not be as well-known as tunes from other theme weeks. But then again, Elvis and the Beatles weren’t exactly available to come sit in the audience and listen, either. There is an added pressure when you’re performing someone else’s song in front of said person. (Just ask Jessica Simpson. Remember that “9 to 5” trainwreck in front of Dolly herself?)
LEE DEWYZE -- “You’re Still The One”
I’m still not sure whether this just started out majorly pitchy or whether Lee was trying to change the melody to “make it his own.” Whatever was going on, the beginning was bad. Really bad. It almost sounded like it was in a minor chord or something. You know minor chords; they’re the chords you hear during movies when the mood is (a) ominous or (b) mysterious. Once he got into the chorus, though, Lee hit his stride, making this tune sound less like the kind of treacle you’d hire Katie Stevens to sing at your parent’s 40th wedding anniversary and more like something, well, current. Though the chords would lead you to believe otherwise, there is no mystery here. Making old songs new again seems to be DeWyze’s specialty and if he can continue to do that he may well survive those foreboding elimination shows (during which they should probably start using minor chords).
