After getting an extra day to practice due to this week’s scheduling switcheroo, you’d expect the ladies to blow the men out of the water. Well, they definitely blew ,,, something. Don’t be so crass; I’m talking about their chances! They are blowing their chances. There are obviously some phenomenally talented women in the group -- stars, even -- but watching last night’s performances just made me want to cut the fat and get to this year’s Top 12 already.
What is unfathomable to me is that out of the thousands of people who auditioned, these were the singers that the judges chose. I realize that in the grand scheme of things, we’re only looking for one American Idol. But, come on. Haeley Vaughn compared to Crystal Bowersox? Let’s at least try to make the competition a nailbiter.
My biggest complaint with the girls is that while many of them seem to have the whole package -- a good voice, the looks -- it’s just not translating to star power. The “it” factor is missing. In fact, it’s the women who don't seem to fit the clichéd pop star mold who are making the biggest impressions. Perhaps America is tired of being forcefed its celebrities and is ready for regular people with real talent -- the kind of people who wouldn’t have a chance at stardom otherwise.
The other predicament is the prevalence of pitch problems. (Alliteration is fun!) No, seriously, it is a singing competition after all. Both the guys and the ladies seem to have excessive problems staying in tune this year. (It’s pitchy, dawg.) Perhaps if they’d hit the notes, we’d have an opportunity to hear Ellen give more criticism than “it was pitchy but it doesn’t matter ‘cause I like you.” Though, to be fair, she is also fond of “I forgot I was watching a singing competition and I was just entertained” or variations thereof.
CRYSTAL BOWERSOX: “Long As I Can See the Light” by Creedence Clearwater Revival
This was, without a doubt, the most anticipated performance of the evening, if not for Crystal’s talent, then for the drama she faced with her medical issues (reportedly stemming from diabetes) the day before. As you probably already know, the girls were scheduled to perform on Tuesday but producers pushed their night to Wednesday after doctors said Bowersox was too ill to participate. Well, if this is what she sounds like during recovery, she might as well take an extended medical leave and show up in time to perform in the Top 3. Believe the hippie hype. Even Simon’s a fan. Whatever good luck trinkets she’s got in that dragonfly satchel -- they’re working for her. Not working for me? The dreads. I love that she’s being herself but makeover week cannot come soon enough!
HAELEY VAUGHN: “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus
I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to be more annoying than Miley Cyrus. Vaughn’s rendition made Miley’s performance in “The Hannah Montana Movie” look like a night at the opera.
