Bert and Ernie Not Gay, ‘Sesame Street’ Insists

Longtime companions “have no sexual orientation,” according to carefully worded statement

We've heard this kind of thing from publicists before, but are dutifully reporting it once again: "Sesame Street" co-stars Bert and Ernie are just good friends.

We know this thanks to a carefully worded statement from the show, which said the pair "do not have a sexual orientation." The "Sesame Street" PR machine was responding to online petitions calling on Bert and Ernie to marry.

(It's a good thing "Sesame Street" won't let the two felt-made men get together, because what would be next? A frog marrying a pig?)

While other male "Sesame Street" characters have been linked to female Muppets in the past, Bert and Ernie (in one of countless pictures together, left) seem to prefer the company of each other.

The confirmed bachelors have been roommates for 40 years.

"Bert and Ernie are best friends," the statement said. "They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most 'Sesame Street' Muppets do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation."

Bert and Ernie have never commented on the nature of their relationship, despite the frequent observation that they would, if gay, be cute together.

And now, please enjoy their famous "banana in my ear" routine (SFW):