After taking last week off, Bill Maher was back with a new episode of “Real Time” on Friday. And he opened the show with a monologue that covered three main topics: the ongoing, gradual process of reopening the country during the pandemic; Obamagate; and Donald Trump’s claim that he has been taking hydroxychloroquine.

“I love Memorial Day, you know. I’m glad it’s come because, finally, I get a chance to just kick back and hang around the house,” Maher joked to open his monologue. “We all should love Memorial Day. It’s when we remember the brave Americans who put their lives on the line to protect our way of life. I’m talking of course about the delivery people from GrubHub.”

Maher started on the real topics, beginning with Trump declaring on Monday that he’s been taking hydroxychloroquine as a preventative against the coronavirus.

Also Read: Bill Maher Says Mike Pence Didn't Wear a Mask at the Mayo Clinic Because He Wanted to Tell 'Barefaced Lies' (Video)

‘Remember hydroxychloroquine? The stuff that they were saying was going to be the big cure-all, and then they were like, ‘Nah, this s— doesn’t work, it’s not for this’?” Maher asked, rhetorically. “And then Trump now says he’s on it. He’s taking it. And not only that, he got mad at the Fox News anchor Neil Cavuto because Neil Cavuto heard him say, ‘I’m taking this stuff,’ and Neil Cavuto said, ‘Yeah, that’ll kill you.’

“Trump, ugh, this man. First he says let’s try drinking household disinfectants. Now, he’s on this s—. Today Vladimir Putin said, ‘I hope I don’t have to poison this motherf—er, I don’t think we have anything strong enough.'”

Maher said that, like so many others, he’s struggling to comprehend what’s going on here.

“Now this drug is for people who have lupus or malaria. So wrap your mind around this. The President of the United States has put himself on a drug for two diseases he does not have. Also, he’s starting on something next week for vaginitis, just to be safe,” Maher quipped. “I don’t get this Donald Trump. He’s never had a drink. Never did pot. No drugs in college. But at the age of 73, Laura Ingraham comes by and says, ‘Hey man, put this on your tongue’ and he’s, like, ‘I’m all in.'”

Also Read: Bill Maher Mocks George Bush Nostalgia During the Pandemic: 'Bush Would Have F--ed This Up Too' (Video)

Maher then changed the subject to, well, Trump changing the subject.

“But, of course, he always is the master of changing the subject. This week it was to Obamagate. ‘Obamagate, what a scandal.’ Already losing steam, this scandal, because it lacks that crucial ingredient that most scandals need to have: an allegation,” Maher said. “Trump fans are ready to be all angry at this but they don’t know what it is. Even Glenn Beck’s chalkboard says, ‘To be determined.'”

For the remainder of his opening monologue, Maher took a less serious tone as he delivered some zingers about various states’ attempts to reopen as the pandemic continues.

“But look, I guess the bright side of this is that all 50 states now are at least partially open. But again, no plan, no consistencies. It’s the opposite of Afghanistan. We have no entrance strategy,” he said. “The theme seems to be you can go out but you can’t have fun. What married people call date night. For example, California has reopened some parks, beaches, hiking trails, but again the inconsistencies. You can walk on the beach, but you can’t congregate. And yet the restrooms are open for gay sex.”

And, of course, he couldn’t help but make a joke about the favorite activity of so many Angelenos.

“Oh hiking, that’s very big out here. You know hiking, people are always going hiking. You know what hiking is? That’s when a guy and a girl walk up the mountain because she wants exercise and he thinks it’s a date,” Maher joked.

“Georgia, of course, one of the first states to reopen. Again, inconsistent. You can go to the Waffle House to eat but the ban remains on parking lot fistfights. In Georgia and in Texas, they opened the churches and then they had to re-close them because people got the disease. And you know, look, I make fun of religion but I can’t blame people for wanting to go to church in person and have that experience. There’s just something about speaking in tongues over Zoom that makes you feel like an idiot.”

“Real Time With Bill Maher” airs on Friday nights at 10 p.m. ET/7 p.m. PT on HBO.

Watch the full monologue above.

11 Times Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect Comments Sparked Outrage (Photos)

Comedian Bill Maher has made a career of saying things that could come back to haunt him, both on his former ABC show "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" and on his current HBO show "Real Time with Bill Maher." Though Maher prides himself on being politically incorrect, there have been plenty of times he's said offensive things that got him into hot water. Here's a look at 11 of them.
HBO
11. Maher interviews alt-right darling Milo Yiannopoulos
After Milo’s speech at Berkeley University was canceled because of protests that included a few small fires and thrown objects, Maher brought the alt-right idol in for an interview. Though Milo’s anti-feminism, anti-transgender and anti-Muslim positions are well known -- as is his role in the harassment-focused online movement known as GamerGate -- Maher offered almost no pushback against Milo. Read more here.
HBO
10. Maher jokes about Tila Tequila being assaulted
In 2009, news broke that Tila Tequila claimed she’d been assaulted by then-boyfriend and San Diego Charger Shawne Merriman. Maher responded with a joke many found sexist: “New rule: Stop acting surprised someone choked Tila Tequila! The surprise is that someone hasn’t choked this bitch sooner.”
Getty Images
9. Maher claims Hillary Clinton cried for political gain
During the 2008 presidential campaign, Maher tore into Clinton. In what many read as a sexist remark, Maher said women use crying to win arguments and accused Clinton of crying on the campaign trail for the same reason. Watch the clip here.
Getty Images
8. Maher says millions of Muslims supported the “Charlie Hebdo” attacks
Maher has a long history of being highly critical of religion and, in recent years, of Islam in particular. In the wake of the 2015 “Charlie Hebdo” attack in France, Maher said “hundreds of millions” of Muslims supported the violence, in which 12 people were killed and 11 more were injured. Watch the clip.
YouTube
7. He gets into an Islamophobia argument with Ben Affleck
On a panel with actor Ben Affleck and author Sam Harris, Maher defended Harris’ assertions about Islam, including when Harris said “Islam at this moment is the mother lode of bad ideas.” The discussion turned into a shouting match, as Affleck quickly challenged the stance and bigotry related to discussions of Islam. Watch the clip here.
YouTube
6. Maher compares One Direction’s Zayn Malik to Boston Marathon bomber
Singer Zayn Malik quit the band One Direction, prompting a few jokes from Maher during an episode. But people were angered when Maher asked, “Where were you during the Boston Marathon,” placing an image of Malik beside one of bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Many saw the joke as one mocking both Malik’s appearance and his Muslim faith. Watch the clip.
YouTube
5. He defends Bill O’Reilly’s joke about Maxine Waters
After former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly said Congresswoman Maxine Waters’ hair looked like a “James Brown wig,” Maher came to his defense on “Real Time.” Maher’s point: liberals can’t take a joke. Many criticized O’Reilly’s joke to be racist, and he later apologized. Watch the clip here.
HBO
4. Maher says dogs are like children with mental disabilities
In the middle of making some point about how he’s not lauded enough for raising dogs, Maher said dogs are “like retarded children.” Guests floundered both to address Maher’s use of the offensive word and the much more offensive comparison of children with disabilities to animals. Watch the clip.
YouTube
3. ...And makes fun of Sarah Palin’s son Trig
Maher pushed that button again when he referred to Trig as “it” and said he “looks a lot like John Edwards.” Watch the clip here.
HBO
2. Maher says 9/11 terrorists weren’t cowardly
Maher's ABC show “Politically Incorrect" was canceled in June 2002 after what he later explained was his attempt to level criticism against the American military. Less than a week after Sept. 11, 2001, Maher said the terrorists who stayed aboard planes were “warriors,” adding that the U.S. had been cowardly for firing cruise missiles at enemies “from 2,000 miles away.” The comment caused a row, as advertisers pulled out of the show. Watch the clip.
YouTube
1. Maher says “I’m a house n---a”
In his latest bout of outrage-driving commentary, Maher offhandedly dropped the n-word in the middle of an interview. HBO has since said the comment was “inexcusable” and is removing it from reruns of the show and Maher has apologized.
HBO

1 of 12

The “Real Time” host has said the n-word on TV… and a lot more

Comedian Bill Maher has made a career of saying things that could come back to haunt him, both on his former ABC show "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" and on his current HBO show "Real Time with Bill Maher." Though Maher prides himself on being politically incorrect, there have been plenty of times he's said offensive things that got him into hot water. Here's a look at 11 of them.

View In Gallery