Bill Maher is rallying the troops to foil any attempt made by the Trump administration to slow and prevent the U.S. Postal Service’s distribution and collection of mail-in ballots. His plan: use snail mail only to vote between now and election day.
“Democracy isn’t a spectator sport, and if Trump’s going to try to scuttle the post office, we need to fight back,” Maher said on Friday’s “Real Time.”
“Since April, the president has launched a two-front campaign against the Postal Service. First, undermining trust in mail-in voting by calling it corrupt, so later he can challenge any results he doesn’t like,” the comedian explained, going on to mention the reduction of sorting machines, the firing of leadership and the elimination of overtime.
“He wants it to fail,” he said. “It has to fail for his scheme to work — it’s like a postal version of ‘The Producers.'” And Maher has a point, because there is anecdotal evidence that the system is starting to crack.
“You have two weeks to use the Postal Service for everything you normally do and after that #FreeUpTheMail. Other than essentials, like receiving paychecks, prescription drugs and, of course, the Victoria’s Secret catalog, don’t use the mail for anything but ballots until the election is over,” he added. “Let this be our October Surprise for Trump.”
Yes, that means get your Amazon shopping out of your system now while you still can, Maher suggested. And handwritten letters and birthday cards? Fuhgeddaboudit.
“I’m sorry but we need to give our besieged and intrepid postal workers the time and space they need to deliver nothing but ballots,” Maher said. “So, fruit of the month club? Cancel it. Wine of the month club? Get drunk on something else. Sea monkeys? Ransom notes? No. Everything.”
“If you’re still paying your bills by mail, good time to join the new century,” he went on. “No save-the-date cards, no get-well cards. Postcards. Please. Please. We have Instagram now, you’re embarrassing yourself. If you’re still sending postcards, it’s like watching a movie on Netflix in 2020, and then trying to send it back.”
And, of course, junk mail has got to go.
“What mostly would free up the mail, would be getting rid of this s—,” he said, as a photo of a Capital One credit card application flashed across the screen. “I don’t know what your politics are, but somewhere in your evil banker’s hearts, you must think we should all at least get the chance to vote. So next month, don’t send me an application. You can throw it in the trash for me.”
Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons, Maher said they gotta go. (No, Bill, no!)
“If the post office wasn’t so overwhelmed with the mountains of hot garbage that flow through it every day, we might stand a chance of foiling the fat man’s plans,” he concluded. “I don’t want to lose this election because of the mail. This is something we can do.”
Watch the entire segment in the clip at the top.