Charlie Sheen Reveals Tricks for Staying Upright on ‘Two and a Half Men’ Set

On “Dan Patrick Show,” Sheen also offers advice to Lindsay Lohan, says he’s on good terms with “Two and a Half Men” creator

In another call to "The Dan Patrick Show," Charlie Sheen said he's on good terms with "Two and a Half Men" creator Chuck Lorre, offered advice to Lindsay Lohan, and revealed some of his tricks for remaining upright during tapings.

Yes, really.

Sheen said he has never been drunk or high on the set of "Two and a Half Men," but did rely on furniture to stay standing after a few long nights.

Also read: Sheen Jokes He Will 'Outlive' Two and a Half Men Creator

"Never been drunk, never been high on the set once," Sheen said in an apparent stream of consciousness. "But — would show up having not slept much. Doing a network run-through and asking the director, Jamie Widdoes — huge shoutout, best guy alive — um, to move my mark a little bit just so I could be next to a piece of furniture or table… so I wouldn't fall over."

"But but but but but Dan," he added. "That is an expert move by a seasoned professional. I'm sorry. An amateur stays on his mark and then falls over during the run-through."

"You're a pro's pro," Patrick said.

"Thank you," Sheen replied.

Also read: Lindsay Lohan Not Doing Letterman Top 10 — 'Late Show' Duped?

He also asked Patrick to book Lohan on his show, because he wanted to offer her advice. He advised her to "work on your impulse control. Just try to think things through a little bit before you do 'em."

"Now check it, I was not there, in the store. The necklace, the thing, some bracelet — who cares? I mean, it's, it's, it's — they're so desperate to villify, without fact."

Lohan has pleaded not guilty to a felony grand theft charge tied to a claim that she stole a necklace. She is free on bail.

Sheen also made a surprise call-in to the show — on which he has also previously appeared — on Monday. He said then that his "Two and a Half Men" bosses — not the rehab he announced he was starting on Jan. 28 — were to blame for the show's hiatus. He said he was ready to return to work but they weren't.

Lorre reponded with a vanity card at the end of Monday's "Two and a Half Men" joking that, given his own healthy lifestyle, "If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed."

Sheen told Patrick he wasn't offended at all.

“This is a giant compliment," he said. "Chuck offered an olive branch, this is how I interpreted it. He’s going through all this stuff about what he does. This is about him personally. It doesn’t get to me, it’s not about me until the end. It’s a reflection of how he feels, in comparison to how my insane my life appears at times. So, I took it as a huge compliment. He basically wrote a brilliant little piece of literature and called me Superman…We are fine! ” 

He also said someone in charge of "Two and a Half Men" bosses — he didn't say who, but the show airs on Viacom-owned CBS and is produced by Warner Bros. TV — intervened and urged him to get healthy.

“People need to understand how supremely grateful I am that someone stepped in here," Sheen said. "I don’t want to say who, but you know, basically, Viacom showed up at my house and said ‘Dude, it’s getting really obvious and we’re really worried about you. We don’t give a rat’s tooey about the show, we care about your health.’ So, they came in and just man to man and said ‘We have to shut it down.’”