The best way to watch “Chronically Metropolitan” is to think of it as a parody of a particularly pretentious brand of indie romance. Unfortunately, though, director Xavier Manrique and writer Nicholas Schutt (“Blood & Oil”) play it so solemnly straight for their feature debut that it seems unlikely they’re aiming for satire.
Shiloh Fernandez (“Evil Dead”) is Fenton Dillane, a twentysomething author whose single short story in The New Yorker made such a massive impact on the world that, as he complains, he was “forced into exile.”
Anyway, after hiding out for a year in San Francisco, he decides it’s safe to return to his old life in Manhattan. But when he strolls back into his parents’ Upper East Side duplex, he finds things are even worse than when he left.
His father, Christopher (Chris Noth), is a professor and author who’s also fortunate enough to live in a world that considers writers of supreme importance. When Christopher gets caught having a drug-fueled affair with two of his students, he’s flattered to make the cover of the New York Post. But he’s also genuinely annoyed that he wasn’t similarly honored when he won a National Book Award.
Mom Annabel (Mary-Louise Parker, shamefully underused) has had enough of Christopher’s Mailer-esque misbehavior, so she’s in the midst of moving out. Fenton’s collegiate sister (Addison Timlin, “That Awkward Moment”) has started an affair with her mother’s pot dealer (Josh Peck, a long way from “Drake & Josh”). Plus Fenton’s ex-girlfriend Jessie (Ashley Benson,”Pretty Little Liars”), whom he’s hoping to win back, is about to marry an art curator (Chris Lowell, “GLOW”). And not just any curator, but the fancy British type who calls bar fights “donnybrooks.”
On the bright side, Fenton has been offered a very impressive book deal based on that infamous magazine story. But will the work be authentic? Is it what he really wants? Life is so confusing!
In 2005, Noah Baumbach had the good sense to set his version of this story — “The Squid and the Whale” — in the past, when a New Yorker byline really might change someone’s life, and great writers could expect to get away with being obscenely selfish just because they were talented. (Baumbach also had originality, a fully-committed cast and painfully sharp insight on his side.)
Manrique’s concept, though, rings hollow from beginning to end. Vintage typewriters, carefully-placed Philip Roth novels, aggressively curated facial hair, and casually dropped references to “Matthew and Björk” aren’t enough to sustain an entire movie. And unfortunately, the performances are so stilted (only Peck stands out) that these thinly-drawn characters feel as false as the world they inhabit.
In fairness, the film does look great. It’s shot nicely (by cinematographer Scott Miller), and production designer Lucio Seixas (“Southside with You”) does a skillful job creating this affluent, self-consciously superficial setting. The only problem is that the fictional universe he, and everyone else, evokes is a lot less New Yorker than it is “Gossip Girl.”
All 10 Kathryn Bigelow Movies, Ranked: From 'Point Break' to 'Detroit' (Photos)
It’s the rare director who can make consistently compelling films over the course of three decades, but every one of Kathryn Bigelow’s movies is worth watching. (Well, all the ones she directed solo, at least.) This week brings the release of her latest Oscar contender, the riveting historical drama "Detroit." If you’re hoping to catch up on her impressively varied career, here’s how to prioritize.
10. "The Loveless" (1982) Well, everyone has to start somewhere. And we see what Bigelow and her co-director, Monty Montgomery, were aiming for with this uneven drama: an updated version of “The Wild One,” in which a motorcycle gang upends a small town. Alas, there’s not much to grab onto, between the shaky performances, molasses-slow pacing, and pretentious narration. But the visuals are striking, and the soundtrack’s not bad. Plus, her broody antihero -- also making his feature debut -- is a crazy-young Willem Dafoe.
Atlantic Releasing Corporation
9. "The Weight of Water" (2000) You can feel the potential in this strained double thriller, in which an anxious modern photographer (Catherine McCormack) researches the murder reported by an overburdened 19th century wife (Sarah Polley). Though neither thread hits quite the right notes, both have beautifully shot, unbearably tense moments to them. Sean Penn overacts as an arrogant poet, as does Elizabeth Hurley as his determined seducer, but McCormack and Polley pull us in with their underplayed, all-too-understandable resentments.
Lionsgate
8. "K-19: The Widowmaker" (2002) One of Bigelow’s strengths is her willingness to embrace a wide variety of genres, and her Cold War thriller is a taut, workmanlike effort. Some might chafe at Bigelow’s commitment to her concept: that we feel just as stifled and suffocated as soldiers stuck aboard an ill-fated Soviet submarine. But Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson play off each other well, as the Russian leaders charged with an impossible assignment.
Paramount Pictures
7. "Blue Steel" (1990) A ramrod-strong Jamie Lee Curtis more than embodies the title of this moody thriller, about a Wall Street sociopath (creepy Ron Silver) obsessed with Curtis’s rookie cop. Bigelow leans hard into the lurid, B-movie feel, but it’s well-made throughout, with standout performances from Curtis and a charismatic Clancy Brown as her partner. (Watch this, then try to wrap your mind around the fact that the ultra-intense Brown went on to play SpongeBob’s boss, Mr. Krabs.)
Lightning Pictures
6. "Near Dark" (1987) Sadly underseen and oddly hard to find, Bigelow’s first solo feature possesses an almost mythic cult status. Some still consider it the best vampire movie of the modern era (modern being an admittedly relative term). With a characteristic blend of aesthetic and commercial sensibilities, she mixed the stylish Western she wanted to make with the sexy horror film she knew people wanted to see. Bonus: breakout star Bill Paxton, as one of the undead stalking two small-town innocents.
F/M, Near Dark Joint Ventures
5. "Point Break" (1991) Sure, it’s painfully earnest and patently preposterous. So what? It’s also got car chases, rad waves and Patrick Swayze so deep in the Zen zone he keeps forgetting to wear a shirt. Other filmmakers might have mocked the story of an undercover agent (Keanu Reeves) infiltrating a gang of bank-robbing surfers. But Bigelow shoots clear of eye and pure of heart. So Reeves is free to shout passionately into the uncaring surf: “My name is Johnny Utah!!” Yeah it is.
Twentieth Century Fox
4. "Strange Days" (1995) It’s understandable that this jittery sci-fi nightmare flopped on release: no one knew how incredibly prescient it would turn out to be. Bigelow’s apocalyptic portrait of millennial neurosis, set at the end of 1999, envisions a world in which no one needs to leave the house: technology brings everything inside. Ralph Fiennes plays the eerie magic man luring humans to ignore a collapsing planet; Angela Bassett is his conscience, urgently aware of the dangers of disconnection.
Lightstorm Entertainment
3. "Detroit" (2017) Bigelow often works in layers, an approach that keeps us perpetually off-balance. You won’t find a moment to regain your equilibrium while watching her anguished depiction of 1967’s Detroit riots. In focusing tightly on the brutalization of several young black men (including a haunting Algee Smith) at the hands of white police officers, she’s made an American horror film that uses the past to invoke the present. The results are often as distressingly tender as they are unflinchingly traumatizing.
Annapurna Pictures
2. "Zero Dark Thirty" (2012) In taking on the hunt for Osama bin Laden, Bigelow knew viewers would bring their own political judgments to the theater. As usual she stayed above the fray, preferring to observe rather than moralize. By alternating between the cerebral focus of CIA analyst Jessica Chastain, the dubious methods that fuel her obsession, and its adrenaline-inducing outcome, Bigelow offered us an unexpectedly complex meditation on personal -- and political -- duty.
Zero Dark Thirty, LLC
1. "The Hurt Locker" (2008) Bigelow became the only woman to win a Best Director Oscar thanks to this era-defining war film, about a bomb squad in Iraq (led by an outstanding Jeremy Renner). Boldly deconstructing the familiar fetishization of military masculinity, she dragged us through her soldiers’ boredom, exposed their agonizing uncertainty, and laid bare their hidden addictions.
Summit Entertainment
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How does her new historical drama stack up against her earlier classics?
It’s the rare director who can make consistently compelling films over the course of three decades, but every one of Kathryn Bigelow’s movies is worth watching. (Well, all the ones she directed solo, at least.) This week brings the release of her latest Oscar contender, the riveting historical drama "Detroit." If you’re hoping to catch up on her impressively varied career, here’s how to prioritize.
Atlantic Releasing Corporation
