It’s 2018, which means that by definition we just had a crazy week. But this week in President Trump’s America was certainly crazier than your average, and so Stephen Colbert spent his opening monologue on “The Late Show” Friday night taking a look back, drinking a refreshing alcoholic beverage to dull the pain, and then doing an Alex Jones impression that was surprisingly pretty great even though doing it caused Colbert physical pain.
“What a week we have gone through together. We had the revelations from Bob Woodward’s book that confirmed everything we thought was happening was happening,” Colbert said to open the monologue, before plugging Woodward’s upcoming appearance on “The Late Show” on Monday.
“Then, what else happened this week? We had an op-ed in The New York Times from an anonymous Trump administration official saying, ‘Yeah, yeah, it’s happening.’ Hell of a week, you know? Oh, the memories. Let’s get rid of those right now.”
Colbert then took a sip from an Old Fashioned that was handed to him from off-screen. He began looking at other big things that happened this week that somehow managed to fly under the radar because of the other stuff, starting with the congressional hearings on whether Facebook and Twitter have an agenda against conservatives.
He started with the weird incident when conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer tried to crash the proceedings by doing a rant about how leftists were trying to steal elections by banning conservatives from social media — which climaxed when Rep. Billy Long did an auctioneer impression as Loomer was being led out of the room. Then Colbert moved on to the dust-up between Alex Jones and Marco Rubio.
“The crazy also spilled outside the chambers into the hallway, where Florida senator Marco Rubio was confronted by alt-right conspiracy theorist and man whose porn name is Lance Boil, Alex Jones,” Colbert said. “Jones has been permanently banned from Twitter at this point, and his official pages were removed from Facebook. So he ambushed Rubio to… I don’t know what. He ambushed Rubio to fix it?”
Then “The Late Show” played part of the clip of the odd confrontation, ending it with this exchange:
Rubio: “All right, man. Who are you? Who is this guy? I swear to god, I don’t know who you are, man.”
Jones: “Tens of millions of views? Better than Rush Limbaugh? He knows who Info Wars is.”
And that’s when Colbert dropped his Alex Jones impression.
” ‘Yeah, everybody knows what Info Wars is. Tens of millions of views. That’s not even counting the mole people watching my live feed on the micro screens on the bottom of my feet! Marco Rubio is a snake man. Come on, unhinge that jaw, Marco! Swallow me! Swallow me whole! I’m delicious!’ ” Colbert said, apparently physically uncomfortable by the end of it.
“That actually hurts to do.”
You can watch this portion of the opening monologue from Friday night’s episode of “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” in the video embedded at the top of this post.