“Late Show” host Stephen Colbert always has a lot of politics in his opening monologues, but on Wednesday night, he took aim at a (fictional) body that governs fast food.
“America is changing so fast. Every day seems to bring shocking news that radically unsettles what we believe this country should be. And it’s happened again, because Taco Bell’s latest tostada features a giant Cheez-It,” Colbert said as he opened his show.
His comments were met with laughs from the audience as he mimed what it might be like to eat one of Taco Bell’s newest culinary creations (which translated to: this looks good; yum, yum, yum; followed by breaking wind).
The late night funnyman produced a picture of the new menu item, which looks like the inside of a taco atop the biggest Cheez-It known to humankind.
“Behold! The snack of madness. It’s like my dreams and my nightmares had a baby and then baptized it in ground beef,” he joked, noting the Cheez-It in this dish is “16 times larger than a normal [one] with the same taste and texture.”
But, Colbert said, there is a catch. The menu item is only available in one locale – Irvine, California, which is about 50 minutes South of Los Angeles on a good traffic day. He then blasted those who made that determination.
“Well, I’m sorry ladies and gentlemen. I believe that giant Cheez-Its are a basic American right,” he said. “Access to this snack cannot be relegated to the states. I have to believe that this restriction is the work of the Crunchwrap Supreme Court and its radical justice Samuel A. Burrito.”
He ended the bit showing a photo of a judge with a burrito for its head. You can watch the whole bit above.
