Stephen Colbert’s monologue on “The Late Show” Monday night was, in standard fashion, full of zingers being fired at Donald Trump’s general direction, addressing many of Trump’s tweets from over the weekend.
Among the tweets that Colbert focused on were the Comey memos that leaked last week, of which the host spent a solid five minutes on.
“Another big Trump story he tweeted about this weekend was the release of James Comey’s memos last Thursday about Comey’s meetings with Trump. After every meeting, Comey was so disturbed he would write down immediately what happened in a memorandum. There are some juicy details in these memos, like the February 2017 meeting in the oval office, in which Trump told Comey, ‘The hookers thing is nonsense,’ but added that Russia’s Vladimir Putin told him that Russia had ‘some of the most beautiful hookers in the world.’ That explains Russia’s latest tourist slogan: ‘Russia: come for the hookers, stay cuz you’ve been poisoned,’ ” Colbert joked.
“But here’s the thing: when Trump said this, he actually had never met Putin. So how did he hear about this hooker thing? Putin had said they had the best hookers in the world on TV.”
You know, it’s hard for me to imagine that he went to a hotel to meet with women who are very liberal toward social responsibility… although ours are undoubtedly the best in the world.
“The Late Show” then played a clip of Putin expressing doubt that the situation involved in the alleged pee tape ever actually happened because he wouldn’t think Trump would “meet with women who are very liberal toward social responsibility,” before noting that Russia’s prostitutes are “undoubtedly the best in the world.” After playing the clip, Colbert had a message to deliver directly to Trump.
“Mr. President, just because somebody is talking on your TV, it doesn’t mean they’re talking to you! Unless it’s ‘Fox & Friends.’ Or me right now,” Colbert said, before moving on.
“Comey also says in the memos that Trump joked about his plan to find White House leakers by putting reporters in jail. ‘They spend a couple of days in jail, make a new friend, and they are ready to talk.’ Well, it’s not the worst idea. with reporters in jail, at least Trump will have someone to dictate his memoirs to,” Colbert said, the joke being that Trump himself will be in prison soon.
Colbert then clowned Trump for his continued inability to correctly spell the word “counsel,” a mistake he has made repeatedly.
“Trump responded to the memos, tweeting, ‘James Comey illegally leaked classified documents to the press in order to generate a special council? Therefore, the special council was established based on an illegal act? Really, does everybody know what that means?’ I actually don’t know what that means, but I do know how to spell ‘counsel.’ And that ain’t it,” Colbert said before comparing Trump to a very dumb version of the Joker who can’t get Batman’s name right. “How can he not know how to spell the title of his arch-nemesis? That’s like the joker saying, ‘I’ll get you, Bamtan!’ ”
You can watch all of Colbert’s monologue from Monday’s edition of “The Late Show” in the video embedded at the top of this post.