Stephen Colbert spent most of his monologue on Monday’s “The Late Show” discussing President Donald Trump, beginning with his bitter reaction to businesses being forced to raise prices due to his tariffs. This helped him transition to Trump’s bitterness about celebrities who don’t like him.
The president, Colbert said, “is also trying to intimidate another important sector of American economy: Our precious celebrities.” First the host talked about Trump’s unprovoked attacks on Taylor Swift, which eventually led him to joke that the president has fired Santa Claus and appointed Marco Rubio as “interim St. Nick.”
Then Colbert moved on to Trump’s personal attacks on Bruce Springsteen in response to the rocker calling him “corrupt, incompetent and treasonous” at a concert in Manchester last week. This included Trump ranting, “[Springsteen’s] skin is all atrophied. Ought to keep his mouth shut until he gets back into the country. That’s just standard fare. Then we’ll all see how it goes for him.”
“Pretty bold to say someone else’s skin is atrophied when your own complexion can best be described as tandoori catcher’s mitt,” Colbert joked.
Then Colbert noted Trump’s accusation that Beyoncé was paid millions to endorse Kamala Harris, which led him to joke, “and you know right now, some agent in Hollywood is getting this phone call, ‘Why am I not on Trump’s list? Why does Oprah get sent to all the good gulags. Listen, I went to Juilliard. Why can’t I get arrested in this town?”
This brought him to the topic of Sesame Street: “A few weeks back, Donald Trump signed an executive order canceling all government funding for PBS, and as a result, ‘Sesame Street’ laid off about 20% of its staff this year, yeah. On top of that, they lost some of their biggest sponsors to other platforms. The letter D is now doing targeted ads on OnlyFans,” he joked.
There’s a lot more, and you can watch the whole monologue below:
