As it so often does, “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” kicked off Tuesday’s episode with a little cold open skit. This time, the subject of the skit was the federal officers from the Department of Homeland Security who have wreaked havoc in Portland — and who the Trump administration are sending to Chicago next.
The skit here took the form of an ad for a fake Italian restaurant in Chicago that wants to cater to the federal forces who interfere with peaceful protests and arrest American citizens without cause. The restaurant’s name? Fascist Frank’s Italian Beef Emporium. While you may think that isn’t very subtle, check out the signage, which features the German Imperial Eagle, which was a prominent Nazi symbol, as well as the slogan, “Making the beef run on time since 1982.”
The proprietor of this proud establishment, played by “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” writer Brian Stack, continued this trend of being extremely unsubtle with an extremely unsubtle pitch for the federal interlopers. You can watch the skit below.
— A Late Show (@colbertlateshow) July 22, 2020
“Are you a member of Trump’s secret police coming to Chicago? Are you also hungry? Then come on in to Fascist Frank’s Italian Beef Emporium. Just like you, the source of our Italian beef is unknown, unregulated and questionably legal,” said the man, who may or may not be Fascist Frank himself (Stack is a bit young to have opened a restaurant in 1982).
In any case, the pitch continued.
“It’s the perfect way to wind down after a long day of curb-stomping skulls and denying people their constitutional rights,” he said. “And right now you can enjoy our paramilitary special. Simply flash your zip ties and get a Keeper of the Peace lunch combo! That’s a medium Italian beef, fries, and a 32 ounce of tear gas for just $5.99. Or just beat me up and take it — you’re above the law!
“That’s Fascist Frank’s south of the Loop. Where our beef is the Musso-leanest in town.”