Stephen Colbert had some hat-tips and finger-wags to dish out on Monday’s “Colbert Report,” applauding gun rights for the blind and scolding magazines that try to ruin our fun gawking at plastinated human bodies with talk of how those bodies were secured by the Chinese government.
Iowa has apparently decided that to not let blind people have gun permits would be a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act, and Colbert agrees.
“If you’re against blind Americans wielding deadly weapons in public then you hate the disabled,” Colbert said.
“You’re a monster,” he added, pronouncing himself a “Friend to the Blind.”
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Colbert also pointed out that guns would be a much better device for navigating busy streets than those guide canes, as “if you’re waving a gun around, believe me, a path will clear.”
That seems consistent with one blind man’s response to Iowa’s legislation, as Colbert read from a FoxNews article: “When you shoot a gun, you take it out and point and shoot, and I don’t necessarily think eyesight is necessary.”
Colbert then turned his attention to a recent article about those Bodies exhibits, and how some of the bodies used in them might be those of Chinese dissidents murdered by their own government, perhaps for their organs.
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“I’m giving a wag of the finger to recent articles,” Colbert said sternly. “Way to ruin the fun, articles.”
Colbert added that he was sure the bodies weren’t those of murdered prisoners, pointing out happy how some of them clearly were when they died.
He said that this would not in no way derail his daughter’s eighth birthday party.
“We’re going, Britney. Don’t you worry,” he reassured her.
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