Donald Trump’s policy about separating immigrant families at the border is a topic that is here to stay despite his ambiguous executive order that may or may not end the practice, and on “The Late Show” Thursday night, Stephen Colbert recapped the latest twist: Melania Trump’s visit to one of those detainment centers where they’ve got children locked up.
“The story of the week has been Trump’s pro-baby-snatching agenda, and today it took another weird turn. Because to humanize these child detention centers, the administration sent their most high profile detainee, Melania Trump,” Colbert joked to open his monologue. “And as soon as she got there, Melania cut right to the big question.”
“The Late Show” then played a clip of Melania asking: “How I can help these children to reunite them with their families as quickly as possible?”
“Ma’am, I know how you can help,” Colbert continued. “Unfortunately, it involves speaking to your husband. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and the first lady got some details on how long these kids are detained.”
In the next clip, Melania asked how long the children are typically being held, and she is told that “the average length of stay, currently, is between 42 and 45 days.”
“That’s great,” Melania replied.
“That’s great?” Colbert asked, baffled, before slipping into a Melania Trump impersonation. ” ’42 to 45 days, that’s great. My record for being gone is 25 days.’ “
And then Colbert address the whole jacket situation.
“When I heard that she was doing this, I thought, okay, this is what first ladies often do — go to a troubled area, see the children, show that we care. You can’t mess that up. Guess what? Spoke too soon,” Colbert said. “Now, before we show you this, please know it’s real. We checked it so many times because we thought this has to be fake. But today, on her way to show that she cares, Melania wore a jacket that says, ‘I really don’t care, do u?’ “
This is the jacket, for those who haven’t seen it.
That’s what they settled on? What was her first choice, a jacket that says ‘womp, womp’?” Colbert said, referencing an incident from Tuesday involving Trump’s former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski. “She’s forgotten the most important fashion advice: before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take off that jacket. But the first lady’s spokesperson says, ‘It’s a jacket. There was no hidden message.’ Right, it’s definitely not hidden. It’s right on the back! And I’m going to guess this is one message she did not steal from Michelle Obama.
“I’m sincerely curious here, how many people would get fired for this at a normal White House? One? Five? The entire executive branch? Because in the middle of the worst moral scandal in recent memory — so bad her husband backed down for the first time — people who are supposedly on her side let her get on a plane with a jacket that said, ‘I really don’t care, do u?’ For the record, we do. Anyway — be best, everybody.”
You can watch this portion of Colbert’s monologue from Thursday’s episode of “The Late Show” in the video embedded at the top of this post.