The biggest Trump-related story from Monday didn’t happen in the United States. It was finally the day for the government to move its Israeli embassy to Jerusalem which led to a ton of violence and death. On “The Late Show” Monday night, Stephen Colbert had strong words for the most prominent Americans involved in the fiasco.
“Today, the United States officially broke with tradition and opened an embassy in Jerusalem. Now he’s just got to destabilize Antarctica and he’ll have global crisis bingo,” Colbert joked. “In response to moving the embassy, deadly violence has broken out. But according to the U.S. ambassador to Israel, the act of moving the embassy sends the message to Israel that ‘You are not alone.’
“It’s true, Israel isn’t alone. There’s a bunch of other people who live there, too. They’re the angry ones. Now, the president couldn’t be there himself, because, you know, the angry people. So, instead, he sent Peace Treaty Barbie and Collusion Ken.”
That jab referred to, of course, Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, and the quip was met with cheers and applause from the audience. Colbert then played a clip of Kushner giving a speech, in which he said: “When there is peace in this region, we will look back upon this day and remember that the journey to peace started with a strong America, recognizing the truth.”
Except while those were Kushner’s actual words, “The Late Show” was actually presenting the clip without audio as Colbert read the line in falsetto.
“Sounds strong. I think he’s got a little cold. He’s got a little cold,” Colbert joked. “You know, we’ll see if there’s peace, but we’ll definitely remember. It’s like saying, ‘When the house is finally burned down, we will look back and remember that this journey started when we decided to install a deep fat fryer in the living room.’ And Ivanka welcomed the crowd on behalf of her father by saying this.”
Next up was a brief clip with Ivanka declaring that she was there “on behalf of the 45th president of the United States on America.” And, no, the “on” there was not a typo — she actually said that.
“Yes, the 45th president of the United States ‘on’ America. Certainly feels like he’s on us. I think we all get $130,000 now.”
You can watch Colbert’s monologue from Monday’s episode of “The Late Show” in the video embedded at the top of this post.