Donald Trump is scheduled to be arraigned in New York City on Tuesday after being indicted Thursday by the New York grand jury investigating him. All of which gave Stephen Colbert another chance to reflect on the solemn event during his monologue on Monday’s “The Late Show.”
Trump’s indictment, Colbert said, is “a sad, sad, happy day for America.”
If you need a recap, Trump was indicted by the grand jury on more than 30 charges in connection to the hush money payment of $130,000 made to adult film actress Stormy Daniels in 2016 — money that allegedly came from Trump’s campaign for president. (That’s a big no-no per U.S. campaign finance law.) Daniels said she and Trump once had an affair, while Trump admits to the payment but denies that the affair ever happened. Now, assuming Trump doesn’t manage a plea deal of some kind, the upcoming trial will determine whether or not he engaged in various forms of fraud by authorizing the payment.
Colbert, upon bringing up the matter in his monologue, joked that the whole thing is the plot of a new TV show, “Law & Order: Hahahah!”
“So it’s a sad, sad, happy day for America, because for the first time in our history a president has been indicted for paying off a porn star. How are we going to explain that to our grandchildren?” Colbert continued.
“Hopefully in the book, ‘Donald and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad NDA.”
“So what happens now? What does he plead? When is the trial? What if he goes to jail?” Colbert continued. “He could end up the head of a violent, white supremacist gang – but in prison this time.”
Colbert then compared cable news coverage of Trump’s journey from his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida to New York on Monday to the way media covered the infamous slow-motion OJ Simpson police chase in 1994.
“He actually is a lot like OJ,” Colbert said, “except with the ex-president, every glove is too big. Alvin Bragg better get those thumb cuffs.”
Soon after that, the host said he didn’t know if Trump would be taking a mug shot, but “here’s my mug, and I will definitely be doing a few shots.”
You can watch the entire “Late Show” monologue in the video above.