Stephen Colbert began his monologue on “The Late Show” Friday night by reminding viewers that the show will be doing a rare live broadcast on the night of the midterm elections on Nov. 6, before sliding into a look at what exactly might be the downfall of Republicans in the House of Representatives.
“Everybody is excited the midterms are 18 days away. Eighteen days away right now. I am giddy with deep concern, because this is America’s first real chance to wash the taste of Trump’s victory out of our mouths,” Colbert joked, grimly. “It’s dark. It’s a dark, earthy taste. It’s mushroom-y, even. It’s really not a great taste. Rinse twice.”
Colbert then noted why things look optimistic for the Democrats.
“If the Republicans do lose the House of Representatives, it could be because of their continued, passionate support for men credibly accused of sexual assault,” Colbert said. “Surprise: that’s driving away women voters. Polls show, women prefer Democrats 63 percent to 33 percent. 63 to 33, 30 points.
“And, remember, women make up over half of the country. A little tip to Republicans: if you’re going to pick on a minority, make sure they’re not the majority.”
That current major disadvantage, of course, did not stop Trump from being as condescending as possible about which way women will go in upcoming elections.
“Trump’s trying to win back suburban, college-educated women,” Colbert said, “tweeting, ‘College- educated women want safety, security, and healthcare protections — very much along with financial and economic health for themselves and our Country. I supply all of this far better than any Democrat (for decades, actually). That’s why they will be voting for me!’
“Did Trump just try to mansplain the midterms to women? ‘Look, look, ladies, I know you don’t like me, but here’s why you’re wrong — shhh, I’m talking. I gave you safety and security. For instance, I put Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court. Now he’s too busy to whip it out at parties.’ ”
Colbert then continued with another example of something Trump tweeted this week that almost definitely did not help his cause with women.
“There could be another reason women are upset with the President of the United States — it seems like he’s constantly insulting them,” Colbert said. “For instance, earlier this week, when he took to Twitter to call Stormy Daniels ‘horseface.’ Horseface? Sir, sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never un-spank you.
“Shockingly, the president actually put some thought into his thoughtless insult. The Daily Beast is reporting that the president thought it was strategically smart to go after Stormy Daniels in such a visceral way, and he even workshopped the insult prior to tweeting it. He workshopped it! What were the ones that were rejected? ‘Okay, guys, okay, guys, North Korea can wait. Listen up. Okay, what do you think of donkey neck? Chicken torso? Hold on. Armadillo butt?’ ”
You can watch this portion of Colbert’s monologue on Friday’s episode of “The Late Show” in the video embedded at the top of this post.